The everyday ridicules happenings of my meager and uneventful life as seen through my twisted and rambling mind
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
If I knew then........
http://mamakatslosinit.blogspot.com/
New Years Eve. for the most part I've spent most of them since reaching the legal drinking age (darn near 6 years ago) at home sitting on the couch watching TV. With sporadic trips out to friends and a few hours spent with family during those times. I don't think I've ever really "gone out" for New Years since I've been legal. How sad. Thanks Moma Kat now I'm slightly depressed. Fantastic way to start this new year. But I do have a great New Years Eve Story.
Sometime in college somewhere between freshman and Sophomore year I went to State College ( as in Penn State university) to party with my BFF and her then boyfriend for New Years. We rolled into town picked up her man and hit up the state store. during which time we sat in the car since, well we were MINORS. Aren't the best drinking stories underage stories. so he bought us, oh the horror of actually typing this, Mikes Hard Lemonade. I would like to mention that I haven't consumed it since that night. I hate that stuff and I think Mike sucks also.
So out comes Mr. Man of the hour with our alcohol. good times begin to ensue. I'm not sure what happen. I'm not sure if the fact that all the people we were celebrating with had attended high school with us, or if it was the fact they all knew my older brother. But I "felt" the need to live up to the acceptations of being a McMean. I'd like to say I held my own, that I drank those ruffians under the table, that I single handily was the last standing person, i would like to say that. but I can not. that would be a lie. that would be not even close to the truth. I did hold my own....for awhile. and then I came undone. We played a lot of beer pong 9i think, that night is very sketchy in my mind) I know there was beer pong. And Poker. My BFF, hard to believe we are still friends after what I'm about to say, bet my virginity. Yes. my virginity. what a pal. At some point I had enough of Mike and his hard lemonade ways and my BODY felt the need to purge it's self of the nasty flit. and it did. Purged it's self all over the commode in Mr. Mans apartment. In my defense I cleaned it up "pretty" good, and then proceeded to pass out on the floor.
the next day BFF and Mr. Man wanted to go "do stuff". I wanted to sleep. FOREVER. Never get up AGAIN. I also wanted to DIE. and I'm sure at some point uttered those words EVER hungover person has said at one point. I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN! But I have and i will. I remember at some point my friend, Mr. Man and his friend, nothing but teeth, urged me to get up and go to dinner. Yes dinner. Yes I laid on his couch ALL DAY! so off we go to chilies. and thus begins my long running avoidance of chilies until this year. when our food came I couldn't even look at it. and the smells from every ones plates mixed with the rumbling in my empty stomach, didn't seem to like each other and off i went to the bathroom. I would like to say, i made it into the stall before spewing what little liquids and solids i had in my stomach, i would like to say I didn't make a mess, I would like to say none of this happen....but I can not. No sooner had i opened the door but everything came out, up, to the surface, how ever you word it i up chucked all over the bathroom. all over the sink, mirror, wall, floor, all over the door, trashcan, you name i left something on it. But not the Commode. I never made it that far. I imagine it looked like the pea soup scene. I attempted to clean it up. Attempted. BFF came looking for me and we all split. sorry Chilies in State College. I really didn't mean for that to happen. thankfully they weren't busy. and i really did try to clean it up. Also thank you for (I'm pretty sure they knew what was happening) not coming in and making me feel even worse. Again Sorry about the stomach acid on the mirror.
needless to say I've avoided all things Chilies like the plague. I guess maybe part of me was positive that Chilies had circulated my photo around to ALL their restaurants under the heading BATHROOM DESTROYER.
So that's my horrific New Years Eve. that's the year I wish i would have skipped. Gross with a uppercase G.
Repent my child
Who would have thought of all the things I've said in my life, and all the things I've asked to happen to myself, my friends, family and enemies this would actually come true. So I'm repenting for wishing ill well towards Mr. Ship. We have a very complicated "ship" not relationship, not friendship, just a ship. Well Mr. Ship had to have sugary. I called him prior to the sugary to wish him well and to tell him to call me after he was better and if he needed anything. Me trying to be a good person. Well he never called me back but i didn't fret because i figured, "He just had sugary". Well after about a week or so i was annoyed. so I might have said "I hope he gets an infection and gets really sick" who would have thought that would be the day my named came up on someones wish granting list. Trust me had i known it was my turn I would have wished for some money. I feel bad.
After saying those awful words i followed it with "I don't really wish that, it just makes me feel better to say something mean right now." I know my words don't have that much power, but i still feel bad. I feel slightly like scum if scum had feelings. I feel better now. Sorry I'm such a horrible person.
So I'm going to steal another writing assignment for my post today. I'm going to try doing it list stlye like Diane.
things my mom hates that I do.
- My mom thinks I should wear make-up.
- Spend hours getting ready.
- Do something with my hair.
- Dress nicer and try to be "noticed" more when I go out.
- She thinks I don't try hard enough to meet guys.
- I try.
- She hates that I don't have a husband and kids yet.
- I'm not so thrilled about it either but her consistent comments push me farther from her wishes.
- I eat what i want.
- And she hates that
- Every conversation starts or ends with "hows the diet".
- When was I on a diet.
- she stuffs her face with candy and burgers.
- she monitors what I eat when we go out for dinner.
- She always makes us get appetizers.
- She says if she can't tell me I'm overweight who can.
- No one.
- I repeat that same statement to her.
- She doesn't appreciate it.
- Me either MOM.
- She's homophobic.
- I'm not.
- that bothers her.
- I like to say, "Oh look Mom those guys are kissing".
- she hates when i do that.
- She refuses to ride with me in my car.
- She taught me to drive.
- I refuse to let her smoke in my car.
- We ride in her car a lot.
- When she acts like my grandmother i tell her.
- I call her NANA, she hates that.
- I gang up on her with my Dad, brother, the mailman, whoever is there.
- she hates that also.
- I always side with my Dad, just to annoy her.
- She always points out "cute" guys when we are out.
- We have different taste.
- She hates my clothes.
- Hates my taste in all things for her home.
- And thinks she'll never have grand kids from me.
- Ouch Ma.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
TOPS for me in 2008
What are my top 10 things for the wonderful year of 2008. tough. question.
I understand the concept of "Top 10" however mine are in no particular order. OK. That's just to hard for me to do right now, as I'm at work and SHOULD be working. teehe teehee.
1. Making new friends this year. I'm very proud of my antisocial self for making so many new friends this year. OK maybe i only made 5 new friends but I haven't made that many new friends TOTAL over the last 5-7 years. I'm a very picky friend picker. But I've branched out and made some great new friends and because of them have made some GREAT new memories.Oh yeah I've opened up at work and now count more of my co-workers as my friends. Those gals are swell. :)
2.Going to DENVER to see Kitty. We had such a blast. I'm glad Always the bride went with me. The three of us had such a great time. I loved the RMNP. It's was amazing.
3. Entering my photo from the trip into a photo contest. I'm my biggest critic (aren't we all) so working up the courage to do it and believing that I had the right to be there was hard. WINNING 2nd place was just icing on the cake!
4.Becoming a local band groupie! We've gone to a lot of local venues to watch our favorite band play. Drop of Grey you rock, come back soon.
5. Going to the county fair...TWICE! I had a blast with Preggers, Mr. Preggers, Jimmy Jam, Always the bride and Steeler Fan at the Breaking Ben concert. It was cool having Preggers, Mr. Preggers and Jimmy Jam over to hangout in York for a change. Go to my local bar, drink at my place, and crash there for a change. Going back to the fair the next day was a blast. Betting on the pig races, by far the most exciting part.
6.Jimmy Jams. That whole thing was fun. He's a nice guy it's a shame it only last a short time.
7. I only woke up next to Mr. Ship once this year. That's a new record for us. I wish i could say that was over, but until I toughen up it'll never be over.
8.I didn't lose my job. trust me you don't know how close I've come to killing some of the people i work with or the customers i deal with. I'm not a huge people person.
9.Hunting with MaJunior. What a blast. Nothing like me and her in the woods with Mr. Ship and MaJunior's hubby to make them rethink taking us again. GOOD TIMES!
10.BLOGGING! I'm back to blogging religiously. I have trouble keeping the blog on my myspace page up to date but i try. This blog is just so much BETTER. I know parents shouldn't have a favorite. But lets be honest. They ALL do. They might say they don't. But they DO. Deal with it. I love this blog more. It's better. It's smarter. It's easy (she gets that from mommy) and the people I meeting aren't friending me with half naked pics. This place is great.
So there is my top ten list for 2008. It's not super funny, it's not super sappy. It is. What it is. Peace out 2008. It's been real!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Not Me Monday
I did not sleep in late everyday while on my mini vacation. I did not drive to BWI airport with my best friends dad to pick her up from her flight in on Tuesday/Wednesday. Her flight was not an hour late which certainly did not push her landing time to 1:30 in the AM. She did not take forever to find her shit and we didn't get on the road back to york after 2 AM. I was not the least bit concerned that her dad was going to kill us on the way home. He was not the least bit tired from being up ALL DAY. and at no time did her veer into the other lane, nod off, or smack himself in the face to stay awake. My friend did not have diareira of the mouth, and she wasn't tiring to keep her father awake on the ride, because he was CLEARLY not falling asleep.
Before picking Kitty up we did not swing by the hotel he owns in Baltimore to "check" it out. While we were not cruising very slowly all around the parking lot peeking into the front lobby I did not say "I feel like we are casing the joint".
I did not have to squeeze myself into his spacious backseat and i had plenty of room to stretch out for the 1 hour 45 min ride home. It was at no point raining and icy. Thank god his Mercedes luxury car comes equipped with 4x4 (it doesn't).
Kitty and I did not hit up all the local hot spots while she was here. We certainly did not partake in the food at Isacas of Palasta. We did not make SEVERAL trips to Target and i did not let her give my gift to her cousin. The gift was not a huge hit like i knew it wouldn't be. I did not give Kitty the furry slipper like socks her mom gave me and she did not stow them away in her luggage today.
I wasn't the least bit mad that I didn't get the jersey i asked for AGAIN. And I'm completely over it. My brother didn't give me the SAME steelers blanket he gave me last year, that would have been awkward. My grandmother did not purchase me a gift basket with crest whitening strips, toothpaste and a tooth brush and I didn't stop smiling all night. I wasn't the least bit annoyed at that gift and couldn't wait to smile for photos after opening it.
I didn't log a lot of time with my friends and we didn't stay up til 2 int he morning reliving the "glory days". there was no gossiping about our old classmates and no ill will towards them. We didn't make fun or joke about any of the weird kids we went to school with and there certainly wasn't alcohol involved. We did not make a sheetz run at 2:30 in the am on the way home from Ms. PhD's and we certainly didn't witness 3 couples feeling each other up INSIDE the store.
I didn't return a few gifts and use the money to buy the last two presents I need to get. I didn't look high and low for a DVD of On the Line for preggers and I surely wouldn't have been disappointed if i couldn't find it.
Long time no bloggy!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
FY freaking I
Merry Christmas EVERYONE! Even Diane and she's a Christmas hater! Hope you have a great holiday and if you are traveling, a safe trip. I'll be back to bore you with my blogs next week.
P.s.
i'm still waiting for your gifts to be delivered, next year send them earlier! :)
more of the same
Monday, December 22, 2008
Random thoughts
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Because I'm a thunder stealer
Super Speical me Sunday
If it's inflatable, lights up, moves, or is remotely Christmas in theme. They have it. and it's on display. It's insane! Wow Check out their carbon footprint. Jerks. I blame them for global warming, high gas prices, electric shortage, and Obama.
Side note- GO STEELERS!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Dear Old White Head
The Prompts:
1.) Write or share a letter to Santa. 2.) Describe a favorite Winter memory.3.) Last night it snowed buckets and you are forced to spend the entire day at home with your family...what's the plan!?!4.) What's the best gift you've ever gotten/given.5.) Describe a Christmas tradition that you have started with your own family?
Well let's see i have the snow and enclosed spaces with my family, that actually sounds a lot like what I imagine hell to be like, so I'll pass. I Love giving gifts and getting them but am drawing a complete blank on that one right now. I don't have any good traditions. So I'm going to write on the top 2 from the list, because I have something to say about them both.
First. A letter to Santa. If you read my blog often, or every you might know I work for a newspaper. Stop it's not super glamours. and no i have never uttered the words "STOP THE PRESSES" that doesn't happen in real life. At least not in real life circa 2008. so our paper ran a letters to Santa section and ANYONE could write a letter to Santa. Anyone was ME. Yeah why not. I could use a little Christmas magic so I gave it a shot. Needless to say they CENSORED my letter. changed somethings "they", they being the man, deemed inappropriate. so Here is a take on my letter i wrote with some additions the Newspaper wouldn't print.
Dear Big Guy,
Hey Santa hows it going this year? So have the high costs of wheat and grain affected how much your feeding the reindeer up there at the North Pole. I'm sure you don't really have great growing seasons, so it's probably hard to be self sufficient. I swear this government will nickle and dime you to death. Have you considered getting some solar panels for the sled. Scratch that idea, what with the sun not being out when your at work. What kind of detergent does Mrs. Clause use? your suit always looks so bright and nice. I mean jeez you've had that suit for what 100 years or so and it still looks bright red. Must be tide? Maybe you could get an endorsement from them. you should check into that.
So I guess this is where i ask for gifts. Well I was wondering if this year you could just write me a check? I have a bunch of bills and surprisingly they out number the paychecks coming in. Times, they are a changing Santa. If it would be more conveint I could forward my electric bill up to you, I'm sure Met Ed wouldn't mind. Also if you could bring me some food that would be great. I can't afford to go grocery shopping much, what with the high cost of wheat and grain and the low cost of my hourly rate. Seems they get a little up tight around this place when they see you rummaging through the food bank donation bin. Hey I'm not a bad person Santa, I'm just low on funds this holiday season. I've been a good girl this year, I'm way to broke to be bad.
If you need help making toys or pulling the sled you can hire me part-time as an elf/reindeer. I'm a little tall but I'll stoop down so the other elf's wont resent my height. I'm strong and look good in a harness so if you need a back up reindeer, in case Prancer calls in sick, I'm available. I don't have antlers but I do have a nice rack. Just think, if you hired me you might not have to bring as much money and food. If all your canned food and money are on back order I'll settle for a boyfriend. I just ask that he not be an elf. Look I'm not judgemental or anything but that's a long commute for us both. I'll do the long distance thing but WOW that's pretty long. I would prefer a guy a little more local. Although I 'm sure he would be very good with his hands. And just think of all the wooden trucks I could have. Thanks pal. Enjoy your last week off work. I'll see you on the 24th, if not before.
Amy M.
P.s..
I'll leave some hot wings and beer for you at my place. I suggest you bring reindeer treats yourself. I'm not huge on flying deer. Harder to hunt down.
As for my favorite winter memory......5 words. Look at all that blood. Ahh yes 5 words you never want to hear uttered let alone uttered in regard to you. While I'm sure you thought this memory would be full of snow angles and snowball fights, it is not. I also partial blame this "sledding incident" as it's come to be know as, for my strong dislike of all things snowy and icy. See where I might be going with this story. I believe it was 1993-94 somewhere in there. I was in 6th grade. It was this winter that the East coast which i call home was being hammered by snowy, icy hateful weather. and I LOVED it. It meant 2-3 days off of school a week. I swear to God. They canceled so much school that year they never thought we would make it up. I swear we were off every Wednesday and Thursday for three weeks in a row. I loved it. My parents. No so much. seemed we were always off on their days off, their "special days" if you know what I'm talking about. So anyways. After one particular ice storm we, being my brother, our friend and myself went out to slide on the ice. There was a good 3 inches of ice onto of the snow. It was great. you could walk on top of the snow. talk about a real Jesus moment. Walking on top of the snow. It was great. It was also problematic. It took us about 20 minutes to walk 100 yards to the hill we intended to slide down. We fell a lot. But it was fun. we could run, jump and slide 50 feet on our knees. What a blast. right? for the moment. once we go to the hill my brother had to stomp and kick and beat a path in the ice so we could climb up the hill. We slid down the hill on our butts, backs, stomachs, loads of fun. and boy did we fly on the ice. Well here's were it gets a tad bad.
my brother slid down the hill. My friend and I laid down on our stomachs and clasped hands facing each other. We watched my brother stand up and start to walk away. At that point we let ourselves start to slide down the hill. Here is where the speed factored in. we had not allowed enough time for my brother to safely get out of the way. remember it was all ice so you had to walk rather gingerly on it. My body was like a speeding torpedo aimed right at his legs. BAMN! i hit him. BAMN his body landed hard on top of me. pressing my face every so not gingerly into the ice. Lucky me my face indent wasn't enough to slow our bodies to a stop and we slid another 5 feet. When we stopped my brother was yelling at me about how stupid i was and i should have waited till he was out of the way, that as until i picked my face up out of the snow. I couldn't see out of my eye. I later learned that was because of the snow and blood that was packed onto my face. I saw a look of terror on my brothers face. I couldn't feel my face. that was the really lucky part. But I knew something was wrong. then i heard it. "Look at all that blood" and it came from my friend, so i knew it wasn't her, and brother looked fine. so after a quick process of elimination i knew it was me. I touched my glove to my face pulled it back and started screaming. SCREAMING. Like i was being chased by a rabid giraffe. Screamed like someone had just told me i won a gazillion dollars and then said HAHA j/k. Screamed. with one person on both sides of me, literally holding me up we started back towards the house walking on ice. feeling much less like Jesus and more like wishing he was hear to heal my bloody face.
i mentioned above it was probably like a 100 yards. Well imagine trying too walk 100 on ice with the knowledge your face resembles the ground beef mom was turning into meatloaf when you left. It was a long walk back to my house. a very long walk. When we got to the back door I had stopped screaming but was sobbing horrible. I can only imagine what a bloody, snotty, hysterical mess I was. My mom, who was in the kitchen cooking and chatting on the phone, turned around when she heard us come up on the porch, I'm sure to remind us to take all our snow clothes off outside. She ways always big on that. then she saw it. it being me. it being this crying, snotty, icicles hanging from her face bloody mess that was wearing the same clothes her daughter had left the house in not 40 minutes ago. And she dropped the phone. BAMN on the floor. I remember being rushed in to the bathroom, I remember my mom yelling, i remember water on my face, and i remember my mom asking if i could see, which thankfully I could. I remember her cleaning out the cuts and i remember my friend leaving. But I've blocked out the memory of any pain. Lucky for me my face was pretty numb from the ice. I know my friends mother called, she was a nurse, and asked my mom if we needed her to come down, which she did anyway. I heard her tell my mom that upon reaching the her house my friend had mumbled something about ice and blood and then vomited. I must have been a sight.
I'm happy to say that aside from a scar on my eye lid and a slight mark on my check, which you only really notice when I'm really hot or a blushing a lot, there were no lasting marks. If you don't care the emotional scares and my long lasting hatred for all things snow and ice. I went to school the next day and surprisingly no one really made fun of me. Mainly because i took karate, and they all knew it.
Stop at Mama Kats and enjoy the rest of the writing assignments. http://mamakatslosinit.blogspot.com
Bright and shiny people
Went the alarm went off I rolled over and said "it can't possible be 6 a.m. already" so i grabbed my cell phone and did a time check just in case some tiny little fairy people came in during the night and changed the time on my alarm clock, just to fuck with me. alas they did not. Or if they did they messed it up, nice job tiny little fairy people. After confirming that yes it was actually 6 a.m. i laid in bed for 15 minutes contemplating what would happen if I didn't go into work. See I've learned that such an action would have many side effects.
- No one would be there to send out the page.
- I'm covering for Wendy so they would automatically think she messed up
- I'm completely fine with that.
- I could play dumb, say I forgot about it.
- Get in trouble and chance losing my job.
- If i was fired I would differently cuss out my boss on the way out, cause a scene and need to be restrained (that made me laugh out loud. in bed. not now)
- I would need to fine a new source of income thus fulfilling my lifetime dream of working at excitement videos.
- wonder if I would qualify for welfare and or WIC, then i remember I don't have a kid.
- Must remedy that if i really want to socket to the government.
- I wouldn't be able to participate in anymore costume, decorating, or other fun function at YNC.
- Ruth's day would be very difficult.
- no one would be able to put together the celebrations page that fast.
- Lot's of pissed off brides, which I'm strangely fine with.
- I would have to move out of Casa de McMean and back to Casa de parents.
- I GOT UP!
So needless to say I'm here and watching the minutes tick away. I've had my morning breakfast of Oatmeal, which i despises, and will now commence with the making of hot coco. thanks have a great day.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
What happens to the snowman
Monday, December 15, 2008
No me Monday
I didn't unwrap too many peanut butter cups for my peanut butter cookies and i wasn't forced to eat all the unused ones........not all 50.
I didn't drive to Mt. Joy to give Pam her cookies at 10 o'clock at night and it surely wasn't because I couldn't stand to wait a second longer. I also did not purchase two baby items for her after she told me no gifts for the fetus yet. I did not spend all night referring to her love child as 'the fetus" and i surely would have stopped when she asked me to. I didn't leave cookies for James and i surely did not give him my most coveted Christmas card. If i had I'm sure he would not have found it funny and would definitely not have laughed at my inscription. I'm also most positive it would not have earned me a hug :)
I did not go to lunch with my favorite cousin for the first time in MONTHS on Friday and we did not spend a large portion of the time shopping for baby stuff that I wasn't buying.
I did not sleep in on Saturday. I did not get up and deliver more cookies to my brother, grandmother, and cousin. I did not go Christmas shopping with my brother and i surprisingly would not have had a good time i had gone. I did not suggest my brother go to a jewelery store at the mall which did not happen to be going out of business, and was not having a huge sale. He would not have found a nice bracelet and he surely wouldn't have bought it. I was thrilled to not go see my twin 10 month old cousins and glad i wasn't forced to play with their pudgy faces. I did not get sucked into spending all Saturday night with my cousin and her kids. We did not go out to eat and drop $100 for dinner. I would not have drank a huge Blue Moon and ate way to much food. And I surely would not have been sucked into watching a lame SCi Fi Movie with her and i surely wasn't disappointed at the end.
I was not excited to not have to work Sunday. I didn't deliver my last batch of cookies to my friend who was home and i wasn't forced to hangout with her boyfriend and watch football. I did not cheer on the STEELERS on Sunday. I was not remotely interested in the game, and i surely didn't yell at all. I also didn't fall asleep in the 3rd quarter because it was so exciting. I didn't wake up in time to meet my co-workers to decorate for the office decorating contest. Which we did not take 1st Place in. We didn't have the best stuff, like always and I'm not proud in the slightest. I did not see the looks of envy on the other departments faces and we shouldn't go down in company history for being the freaking best.
We are not doing our department secret Santa's tomorrow and I'm not super excited about that. I did not spend hours icing sugar cookies (refer to yesterdays post) to bring in for this event and I'm not happy with the results at all.
so that's my no me Monday.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Who said that?
2.) Worst dentist experience ever.
3.) Describe a "new road" you've taken in your life.
4.) What would you say to a mouse who could talk?
5.) Who is the best listener you know? What makes him or her such a good listener?
Ahh Mama Kat. I don't have much time. Which one should i pick? I don't even know if I'll get it posted tomorrow. Please don't forget me my dear bloggy friends. I will try.
If i knew a mouse that could talk what would i say to him?
I'm pretty sure after i stopped screaming and cowering on the chair like some little ninny. I would say something profound and earth shattering like, "Did you just talk?" Yeah I'm pretty sure it would be something just like that. And after his/her's (how do you really know) squeaky responses, i would most likely faint. Oh come on. I'm honest. those of you who say you would discuss world event's the vast sewage system of your town, or hobbies....are liers. You would scream, jump, faint, check the ingredients on the bottle of whatever wine you had been consuming, and then scream again when the mouse assures you that YES that was him, and YES he can talk. After I finished all the screaming, jumping and hiding in the closet, which the mouse could obviously get into and more then likely has much better knowledge of how to navigate said closet, I think I would ask him what his favorite type of cheese is? Maybe ask how he gets the peanut butter off the trap without setting it off, and if he can do anything cool with his tail. those would be my questions. Oh and maybe if he saw me consuming anything that read MAY CAUSE HALLUCINATIONS. or in mouse writing something with a bright label and a sad face. After a few days of bonding chompin on cheese and throwing back a few bottles of wine we might move onto conversations about hobbies, world events, and the sewage system layout.......ok ok maybe not world events. But I'm pretty sure everyday would start out "uhm....hello little mouse dude....uhm.....so I think...i know I know this sounds crazy....but hum......yesterday I thought that maybe we were..........uhm....carring on a conversation? Oh hah we were.....so you're talking today again? Ok well just checking.
O Christmas Tree.....I'm so sorry
See the monkeys sent their minions to procure the tree. Now they didn't do a half bad job. From what I heard (while eavesdropping) while watching the tree be put up (all 5 times) was that they had haggled the cost down to $60. Yes $60 for this huge tree. Pretty darn good negotiating. Maybe they should get those people in on our health insurance meetings. You know the one where they decided to bump our deductible up to $1500. Yeah If you have any cold medicine laying around not being used feel free to Fed Ex it to me. I wont be seeing a doctor for.....ever again.
So the monkey's in training bring the afore mentioned tree back to monkey headquarters, beat their chests, eat bananas and toss a few handfuls of poop around the room, all the while wearing tiny suits and clapping cymbals. So lets see if i can draw you a picture in words of what happen next.
Up goes tree. Oh to big can't even stand up. down comes tree. They break out some scissors, yes my friends scissors, and snip off about 6 inches. Now The fact that the ceiling tiles were shoved WAY UP into the roof, should have alerted this crew of monkeys in training to the fact that 6 inches wouldn't be nearly enough. oh well let's see (visualize.)
Up goes tree. Up goes ceiling tiles. Monkey's make monkey noise. Down comes tree. snip snip snip more twigs gone and scissors break.
up goes tree. Up goes tiles. Uhm?? Now what. A bunch of monkeys stand around looking and picking bugs off each other. Some how they cut off more of the tree, thinking back they must have gnawed through the bark and sap with those big honking monkey teeth.
Up goes tree. Wow super tight fit. down comes tree. Almost there little buddies.
Up goes tree. Monkeys say forget the star wont fit.
So the trees up and that's when they realize that they don't have nearly enough decorations to do this glorious tree justice. So this my friends is what we are left with.
Sad isn't it. a Gosh darn shame. Can you imagine this beautiful tree up with these crap ass decorations. Stupid poop throwing pant wear monkeys. The sad thing is this is day 2 and no progress has been made on getting more decorations for the tree. UGLY with a big UGLY .
So I'm off...(not just today everyday) work. Not just today but the next 4 days. I'll be baking my yummy goodness tomorrow and Friday. Wish me luck, patience, and yummy goodness. I'm not sure if i will be able to do Mama Kat's workshop tomorrow due to the fact I don't have a computer at home. Yeah we don't have much electric in the cave i live in. And i still cook my rabbit I caught on the way home over an open pit fire. What can i say I'm not up with this new technology like computers :)
I wont be able to post in Mr. Linky tomorrow, but when i get a chance I'll stop by and read what you guys had to say. Maybe I'll be bale to post, I'm not sure.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Gift number 2
Uhm? Nothing says Christmas like a humongous chunk of Hershey's chocolate with the funeral home name written in BLOOD RED! Seems an odd choice of color to me. When i say humongous, i mean it. check out my hand in the photo. It's big. My stomach hurts just looking at it. WOWSER Scooby!
Insanely awesome randomness that is ME
1. Link to the person where you received it
Hell. Have you been?
That damn I before E rule, that really hold almost no water.
Big Brother, no not mine, the show. But yeah mine also, he makes about as much sense as my spelling and grammar (LOL word just marked 3 of my last 4 words as spelled incorrectly). Twosha (?) word.
Algebra. Wow I had Alge 1 and 2 both twice, I’m slow on the uptake what can I say, and still no clue.
World hunger. What’s that about? I don’t trust that old Santa looking guy who wants my 30 cents. Really, 30 cents and I like basically own a child. No really OWN a CHILD! I see what you’re thinking but lets be honest, If I’m supplying the child with food, an education and a home, I own said child. I tell them when they can eat (I pay for it) I tell them if they can go to school or not (I pay for it) I give them water, I OWN THEM! So No thanks Santa I’m pretty sure there’s a proculation against owning people. Look it up. I’m no slave owner.
Peaches and cream, you know what I mean?
But I really don’t understand how it can be so cold in HELL. I mean maybe I’m wrong. (glancing around) but this appears to be hell to me. I have never actually been to hell, I know it’s hard to believe, but I have been told more then once I’ve earned myself a one-way ticket to eternal damnation. I hope the flight doesn’t get over booked that would really piss me off. Could you imagine having to fly standby to hell. Wow imagine the people who fly first class. Hitler, Stalin, that weird exercise guy with the ponytail and fanny pack….I don’t know his name, but I’m sure he’s on the plane to hell, the dude inside the Barney costume. All puppet-wearing people should be on the fast track to hell if you ask me. For some reason our office must always be at 50 degrees (that’s being generouse). Should my hands be cold as I’m typing? My skin gets really groos looking when I’m cold. All splotchy and discolored. Trust me it’s gross. Ask Kitty she’ll confirm this fact. It was so gross we couldn’t even be friends at first because of it. Trust me gross. I swear to Buddha that my nipples just packed up and jumped off my body and are hitch hiking to California or New Mexico. What I don’t know where nipples go other then in mouths? Literally this just happen. Bye bye guys. I swear after a day of throbbing nipples I’m kind of glad they packed up and left, although this could be hard to explain in the heat of the moment sometime. “Well one day at work, it was really cold so they said peace out and left. Huh? Just like this, hey where are you going kind sir?” Oh I can’t wait!
Well I have work to do so peace out……………..
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Not me Monday
Super Special me Sunday
The easiest yummiest treats every.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Writers workshoppe!
We've gotten into so much trouble. SO MUCH TROUBLE. I mean I've never vomited in any of my other friends Dad's Mercedes. I've never thrown up in anyone elseses nieces Christianising cups from to much drinking. I've never drank in a hotel room with a bunch of hot Marines with anyone else (well Julie was there also). NONE of my other friends have ever had to change my clothes after a night of drinking because I was SO intoxicated that I couldn't even form a sentence. Needless to say she is a keeper. me, not so much :)
My last girl friend from high school I still talk to is Erica. I don't have a photo of her. she moved to Mississippi right after she finished culinary school, so i really don't see her much. She's been home ONCE since she moved there. ONCE! I went down ONCE for her wedding. I was the maid of honor after all. We have completely different schedules so I never get to talk to her. but she's my girl. she introduced me to the greatest little snack called muddy buddies!! YUMMY.
Now there's a few guys from high school I still talk to. Mike, Brad, and Terry. Mike was in my post yesterday. he also has an awesome web site http://bangboomcrash.com/ check it out sometime. You can refer to his photo from yesterday's post. Terry I've known FOREVER! Since elementary school sometime. He's funny. Brad and i have none each other since high school. We had Spanish class together. and I think gym. Plus we all worked at Weis markets together so that's where the friendships really bloomed into a mess of trouble and hijinks's.
Photo DAY!
Stop over and check out the rest of the photos at http://angiescircus.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
This is me and my BGF (best guy friend) Mike at his wedding. Don't I look like a hottie. He doesn't look to bad, I guess. Love ya MIKE!
This beauty is from outside Red Rocks Amphitheater in Colorado. I thought it was really cool. Yes people I am easily amused and impressed. Go figure.
So Now we are to tag people. hum???
I'll tag Darcie, because She always has cute pictures of her kids and when aren't cute kids pictures fun! http://cavedweller1019.blogspot.com
Maybe Kitty will post a nice picture from her visit to the Brady circus over Thanksgiving. Those could be comical. http://norwegianrefugee.blogspot.com
and finally..........(drum roll please)
I pick Becky because We haven't heard much from her in the last week or so. Maybe She'll grant us a another peak at her Christmas tree. http://smileitsbecky.blogspot.com
P.S.
Sam I love the fireworks over Pittsburgh, I went to College out that way and I always loved the Pittsburgh view. thanks for the tag!
O Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree you are so freaking COOL!
Like my hurricane glass full of left over balls on my book shelf? CREATIVE ME!
When Christmas trees become possessed and burst into flames!
Monday, December 1, 2008
Super Special me Sunday
Back to grind
One big holiday down and one bigger holiday to go. Oh boy. I think I'll put my tree up tonight if I have time after work, and by time I mean if I'm feeling put to it. If I'm not to lazy or still to exhausted from my long weekend away. I spent the weekend in Crisfield, Md., at my aunts house. Think of the most run down remote town you can and then think 10 times worse, that's crisfield. Nothing to do but get dirty and roll around in mud. Or fish, but it's winter and a little chill for that now. So we did the next best thing, went hunting. What a time that was. My cousin was going out for the first time with her husband, I've hunted since I was 12 so I'm not new to this. However it has been a few years since the last time i went out so we were quite the comical sight. It was my cousin her husband, her youngest son, her dad, me and our friend Bailey (for those of you who read my post about the guy and our "ship", that's him). Boy were we a sight in our awesome hunting clothes her in a full body cameo suit and me in my orange pants and jacket. We were HOTT! Her husband made us get up at 4 a.m. Yes my friends 4 in the A.M. we had to be out in the woods by 5:15-5:30, why I don't know. The sun didn't come up until after 7 a.m. But he's a skilled hunter so whatever. We all split up once we got out into the woods. Bailey walked me to my tree stand and helped me get up in it, what a swell guy. then he left me there alone and went down to his tree stand. My tree stand was about the size of a phone booth, which happens to be the name we use to reference it. The phone booth stand. So Inside is a chair. An office style chair so you can spin around from side to side to look out the 4 windows. Well I got bored and just spun around on the chair a bunch, wonder why i didn't see any deer? Bailey said he could see me moving around and was wondering what I was doing. Just passing some time pal. WE were out there 5-6 hours before we all traipsed back into my aunts house for a nice warm breakfast. then we spent the day working in their chicken houses. They raise chickens for Tyson. Nothing like working in chicken shit and saw dust all day to make the time fly by. It wasn't to bad. We had a surprisingly good time.
I rode down Friday with Bailey(it's a 4 hour drive), all by myself like a big girl, and I wasn't sure how that would go. See we have a bit of a history, a long sorted history, but thankfully the trip was fine. We talked, we laughed, we sang, we had a good time. I'm pretty sure he didn't absolutely hate it. I have to say the ride down and the ride home, were much better then I ever could have thought. He's not always a jerk. He's not always a saint either. All in all I would say the weekend scored some good marks. I did get turn down by him Saturday night which was upsetting, but what can you do. I bounced back, I'm still a little bummed about that but mostly I bummed about my relationship status en general. It wasn't bad. We had fun. And I didn't absolutely hate him when it was over. We shall call this progress.