Thursday, April 30, 2009

Warm and fuzzies...warm and fuzzies (come on!)

So I had a spat with a funeral director today. I know. I know. I said I would TRY not to do that today. I failed. I failed miserably. Dang it. But I did make it to 4 p.m. before I blew up and had my spat. Long story short. She said somethings. I said somethings. and she HUNG UP on me! HUNG UP ON ME! I wont lie. I was tempted to do the same to her the whole time. But I didn't. Oh well. For those of you who are wondering. I owned up to it to my boss. told her truth. Told her exactly what I said, which I should not have said to being with. But I knew it was wrong and I was WILLING to admit it. SO there jerky funeral director! Anywho.

To feel better I'm going to do the picture post Diane did. Unlike Diane I'm not a rebel (or an overachiever ;P) so I'm only posting 6 unimportant things that give em the warm and fuzzies. So here in no certain order are my 6 things.How could those cute faces NOT give you the warm and fuzzies!

I love the rain. I could sit outside and listen to the rain all day. I CAN'T pass up a chance to jump in a puddle when i see it!

Tulips are my FAVORITE flowers. (Diane, I fear we might be one in the same, and I think you are getting the short end of the stick in that deal :)

I love big green fields of nothing. I just want to kick off my shoes and ran around and lay in the grass (of course in this dream there are no TICKS, argh!)

Sun, fun, BEACH=Warm and Fuzzies !!!

And of course if all else fails there is always BEER!

Have a great weekend everyone! I'll be back Monday, hopefully with lots of photo posts from my dads 60th birthday and the baby shower! Finally the baby shower is HERE!!!!!!!!!!

Deep cleansing breathes

The Prompts:
1.) Who really helped you get over something? Write about that person.(
2.) Is plastic surgery an option? Without being vulgar, write about the body part still attached to you that you would most like to dis-attach and replace with a better one. (
3.) Share an interesting email exchange you've had with someone lately.
4.) Have you thought about shutting down your blog? Why haven't you and what would cause you to make that decision final?
5.) Today I will...

Today I will TRY not to laugh at any customers. I will Try not to mutter angry words towards funeral directors. I will smile more (ha). I'm going to take some deep breathes and wait it out. I'm not going to fly off the handle today, although it's 12:30 p.m. and I've already come close TWICE. I'm going to look to the future and focus on my big weekend. Today I'm going to run errands, melt chocolate wafers into booties and bottles. Today I'll complete the shower favors, buy everything on the last minute list and pull out my hair. Today I will drive my aunt to the car detailer and smile while I want to wring her neck. Today I will skip the gym so I can go to AC Moore to get the chocolate stuff and forget my rewards card AGAIN!

Today I will contemplate calling in sick but go to work and pout in the end. Today I will throw away that pineapple I just had to have that I NEVER cut apart. My trash smells nice! Today I will watch Greys Anatomy and go to bed early.

Today I will scream for hours inside my head. Today I will think mean thoughts about objects like this pencil. Today I will pop the blisters on my hands (from raking the yard) and complain about how much it hurts. Today I will lay in bed and think about all the things I would rather do then get up and go to work. Today i will gossip, bicker, yawn, huff and puff, stuff my face with cake, and surf the Internet. Today I will finish my work week pump my fist in the air and yell, ABOUT FUCKING TIME!

So what did you wetie about today? Stop at Mama Kat's and see what everyone has to say

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Two peas in a pod

This post is devoted to my one and only BIG BROTHER. I've mentioned him before (not always in a glowing light, but he doesn't do much to brag about). Big Brother is 28. And he's well. My Big Brother. (un)Fortunately for me he's the only Big Brother I'll have, more so the only brother....well the only sibling (aside from through marriage) I'll ever have. It's just me and YOU kid!
Well Big Brother and I have a relationship of mutual tolerance and annoyance. I would like to say I'm the tolerant one and he's the annoying one. But I think it's more fair to say it's an even split. We have our days when we get along GREAT. We also have our days when I can't get two words out with out being beaten down (metaphorically and physically). Yes Dear friends we still fight and punch each other. You'll be happy to know it's not has violent as it once was. Usually I'll sneak a quick punch in the gut as I ran past him. Or he'll slug me int he arm when i wont shut up. It hurts. It always hurt.

According to my mother and grandmother. We didn't ALWAYS fight. We used to be best pals. good friends. This I DOUBT. I have some serious issues with these "stories". I often wonder if it wasn't their way of getting us to get along. According to family legend if i was being punished for being bad and had to sit int he corner Big Brother would come and sit next to me with his arm around me and tell me everything was going to be ok. I've asked them if they took notice to the fact that maybe he wasn't comforting me, me he was chocking me or threatening to rip barbies head off if I told on him. However, this incident i remember like it was yesterday. My mom had her arms around me and was restraining me. We were sitting on the steps into our old kitchen and she was forcing something into my mouth. I believe it was soap or pepper. I'm not sure. Apparently I had used one of the less desirable words and this was my punishment. Well Big Brother came in all Rambo on her ass and hit her in the head with the butt of his toy rifle. Suddenly my potty mouth wasn't so important anymore.

Big Brother has taken the heat a few times for me. Once when my parents discovered we had a party while they were away, Big brother took the fall for the whole thing. Once when i crashed the four wheeler into the fence and was left with huge bruises all over my arms and chest, Big brother let her think he had hit me so she wouldn't take the four wheeler away from us. .........Yeah I think that's it.

don't be fooled by the smile and the cool swim shorts. He TORTURED me every chance he got. From daily fist fights, to farting in my face (which he still does, did i mention he's 28). He was pure Big Brother MEAN. after all we are only 18 months apart.

  • Once he took my training wheels off after my parents told him not to. According to him "I was a big girl and didn't need them anymore" Then he told me to go up to the top of the very UNEVEN, ROCKY hill and take my maiden voyage. OK. Here I go. And the Big jerk leaves and goes into the house and no one sees me sail right into the rock and gush blood from my face. thanks for the scar, what a perfect keepsake.
  • Or the time my mom found him trying to cut my toes off with my dads sword.
  • His favorite past time was running his remote control cars, drills, or anything that turned against my head so it would get tangled up in my hair.
  • Once he spray painted my head black and dumped a feather pillow on my head. I can only assume he was learning about tar and feathering people at school.
  • numerous times he held me down and farted in my face, pushed me in the creek, threw sand in my face, or rode his bike way to fast while I was on skates being pulled behind him.

Fun guy huh? but for better or worst (mostly worst) he's my big Brother. Today we sat across from each other in his living room while I explained I'd bought 5 poster boards to color and write on to make OUR Dad birthday signs for his 60th birthday this weekend. My brother looked blankly at me. Here is the conversation

  • Me~ I thought I would leave 3 here for you and you can do birthday signs for dad that we can put in his yard. I got different colors and markers and stuff.
  • BB~Why?
  • Me~ Because I thought it would be nice. I think he would like it. Damn he's 60! That's pretty old.
  • BB~Huh
  • Me~So I'll need you to come up with some way to stick them in the ground or maybe you could put wholes in them and we can tie them around the poles on the porch.
  • BB~Great (unenthusiastically). I have some thinner lumber we can use for stakes.
  • Me~Ok.
  • BB~ Wow 3 of them. you want me to do 3 different ones. These things are pretty big.
  • Me~ (shaking my head) Well I thought Maybe YOU could do 1 and You can help Kanyon do 1 on Friday when he gets here. And maybe Jan would like to do 1. So that would be 3.
  • BB~ Oh. Yeah ok.
  • Me~ dude your unemployed right now, what else do you have to do?
  • BB~ watch tv.

My Big Brother Ladies and Gentlemen!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

The Return of Not Me MONDAY

The following list is made up of things I SURELY didn't do or didn't have done to me over the weekend.

  1. I did not spend all morning back cookies, Friday, for a bake sale my mom signed me up for. PRIOR to asking if i wanted to bake cookies for it.

  2. 3 dozen cookies did not burn, darken around the edges, or flatten out, FOR NO REASON!

  3. I did watch roughly 4 hours or Overhaulin and cry. A LOT.

  4. I surely had more important/wilder things to do on y Friday night then go to the laundry mat and watch my clothes dry.

  5. I didn't stop at Rita's for some yummy coconut ice only to find it missing from the menu, the high schoolers working their had the best work ethic and surely didn't make us (non high schoolers) wait for an extended amount of time while they chatted with their friends. After which they surely would not have MESSED up my order (all two things i wanted simple ices) and make me wish I hadn't stopped at all.

  6. I didn't return one bathing suit for another which i will promptly be returning tomorrow before work.

  7. WE didn't drive all the way to Philly on Saturday with no AC in 89 degree weather out of fear the car just might not make it if we turned it on. I was NOT seated on the sunny side of he car and wasn't dripping sweat till we go there.

  8. I didn't have my first OFFICIAL Philly Cheese steak and it wasn't the GREATEST thing ever (next to wings in Buffalo).

  9. I didn't revert back to my quite shy self while spending time with Pams family.

  10. I wasn't REALLY SAD when i opened my t-shirts from to find an XL isn't really very Large at all. I didn't spend way to much time measuring shirts and trying to decided what to do with the shit that didn't fit.

  11. I haven't decided to just return them and try again later.

  12. I'm not sad about this at all :)

  13. It wasn't absolutely beautiful here today and i didn't spend the whole day inside at the computer writing about the dead :(

  14. I didn't chow down on 3 big pieces of cheese pizza last night because I love a melted cheese mess!

  15. I don't have only 6 days till preggers showers and we haven't heard back from only 2 people, that would be ridicules.

  16. I didn't go buy the stuff to make wing dip today and I'm not at all contemplating making it tonight so i can make sure it's not "poisoned" or anything.

  17. I'm not going to start another eat better kick, which would DEFINITELY not be why I also bought Roman lettuce today at the store.

  18. I didn't scarf down a chicken sub for lunch with lettuce on my journey to better eating today.

  19. The above mentioned sub surely wouldn't have had cheese and (lite) mayo on it, because nothing about that screams healthy.

  20. By the end the majority of the lettuce was not on my plate as opposed to in my tummy.

So how about YOU! What didn't you do over the weekend you would like to not mention.


That's the feel for my life. One big DO OVER. But unlike kickball I'm not going to get a fourth roll, so I'm going to try my best to do better.

How was my trip to Philly yesterday, you maybe asking. It was GREAT. Preggers and I had great weather to make the drive and everything went great with the car (as in it made it to Philly, past this trip I would suggest putting it out to pasture). We stopped at her moms house to potty and refresh before making our way to the car dealer. When i said we had great weather I meant it was REALLY warm in the sable without the air on. so maybe what I meant to say I was SWEATING like a........SWEATY person.

I've never been with someone when they bought a car NEW or USED that the paperwork said PAID IN FULL. WOW. I guess that's what you do with left over college money when you don't plan on going back. Preggers used some of her college money to purchase the car, now before anyone gets all Bent out of Shape. She's paying it all back in full to her college fund for her son. This way she repays the money but not to a bank or to a loan shark, who will break her knee caps and repo the car. She's paying in back to herself...well back to Baby McGuier, (c/o of her parents) so it'll be repaid in full. That's the kind of girl Preggers is. I thought it was a great decision see how she NEEDED a reliable car and will be off work for 3 months after having the baby. Paying herself back is much less stressful then paying Bob's First National Bank of Sharks, back.

then we had some yummy dinner with her family. What did we have? Thanks for asking....drum roll please.(bbbabamabambambam) CHEESE STEAKS! Hello McFly we were in PHILLY! When in Philly do as the natives (lol). It was so yummy. I got mine American without. They have a very matter of fact way to order. Step up to the window marked ORDER STEAKS and say in my case American without. Or Whiz without. depending on the cheese you want. If you want onions and peppers you say (cheese type) with. I don't know what you do if you just don't want onions or peppers. It was scary i did not ask. But it was SUPER tasty.

But mine had American Cheese on it and pickles. YUM-A-ROO!

Some of you may remember my "eating better plan" uhm...... yeah this is where the DO OVER comes into play. I HAD to have the STEAK. Come on people. When will i be in Philly again. I went for it. Could you please roll the ball again with a little less bounce in it this time pal. PLEASE!

I tried to make up for it today by eating this.

If you only understood how much I HATE Iceberg lettuce. But I got it on my sandwich and it wasn't to bad. Plus mine was on wheat bread, with lite mayo. Small steps people small steps. I bought some Romano lettuce for salads this week. Is it wrong to say that I REALLY want to lose weight to not only feel better but to look HOTT to make Mr. Ship SORRY. It's only natural right? I would say it's a 60/40 split right now. But I have a ways to go.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Memories, wonderful Memories (insert sappy music here)

I haven't done a Mama Kat writing assignment in AGES. I just haven't felt very motivated by anything. all good topics, just not anything to pertained to me. I guess I could approach them more creatively when that happens and not take them so literally. This week I choose Prompt #3

3.) Why won't you forget? List six true sentences that begin with the words 'I'll never forget...' Then use all six of your sentences in a paragraph, poem, or longer descriptive piece.


So here goes.

I'll never forget that night. Finally I was 21, legal. I'll never forget how exciting it was piling into Jimmy's truck with the gang and heading out on my first (LEGAL) bar trip. Stepping through the door into the dark bar and handing over my I.D. with confidence. Dylan's was dark (insert seedy here) the music was pumping and we had already made 1 other stop. I remember pounding shots at the bar and downing beers. I'll never forget piling back into Jimmy's truck and singing and pounding the back of the drivers seat, yelling, "Let's go back! I want to go see hottie again (his friend the bouncer). But we had other bars to visit and off we went into the night a truck full of drunk people (minus our DD Jimmy). Us 3 girls in the back and Big Brother and Jimmy in the front. We stopped at another bar (whose name has changed 4 times since that night, it was more "clubby" than the others) but didn't stay long. and off we went BACK to Dylans. I'll never forget admittedly denying I was drunk after I fell flat on my face leaving Dylans. Somehow, as we always do, we ended up at Denny's. This part I'll ALWAYS forget as I don't remember much past getting in the truck. I was drunk. I fell asleep at the table and my friends boxed my food up and brought it home with me. I'll never forget that part of the story because they remind me every time we go to Denny's. All in all the night was a hit and we've shared many a nights like this in the last 6 years. and I'll never forget any of them.

So thats what I'll never forget. what are you writing about?

Send out the Blogger Sign

OK Dear bloggy friends I'm in need of your help. I tried to make the "Blogger" (symbol that slightly drunk looking B inside a square) to tape over a light and flash into the sky (Batman style) but I ran into all kinds of problems. Mainly copyright laws, and lighting stipulations, so I opted to seek your advice right here. On our medium (I love that show, COMPLETELY irrelevant). So I've been working out as much as I can lately and trying (not really) to eat "better" i.e. no chips and Salas (except during TV hours) and no deep friend anything (unless it has buffalo sauce on it). I'm working on it. don't judge me. Self control isn't my specialty (Mr. Ship will attest to that). Here is the help/advice I seek from the all wise and knowing Blogger friends I've made on here. I have no idea what to eat during the day for lunch and what not. While watching the Today Show, today (I always hate how that sounds) they showed stuff you should eat for lunch. I've already forgotten what they showed. Obviously I was paying close attention (i.e. stuffing my face with a Colby and pickle grilled cheese sandwich, which was NOT on the list) but somehow managed to miss this.

Here's the thing. I weird. WEIRD. I'm sure you have picked up on this. I freely admit to it. I don't like breakfast. I know. I know. It's the most important meal of the day blah blah blah. Thanks for the health lesson. I just don't like the whole thing. the pancakes (which my Stove can't make to save it's life) waffles, bacon, eggs, toast (staleish bread) all that butter and syrup. UGH. I can't. I've never been a huge breakfast person, possibly because for years I didn't venture out much before 10 a.m. My breakfast is usually leftovers or a sandwich (grilled cheese). A granola bar on the way out or yogurt. Whatever. Sometimes Oatmeal. I'm learning to like it, much like eggs. So I usually skip breakfast. But I'm trying to not do that anymore. Now I'm up and at the gym by 8:30 a.m. so I usually grab something while I walk out the door. I don't go to work until 12:30 so I tend to eat something before work. and then I don't get home til 8:30 p.m. so I snack at work during the day but still need to eat a real dinner when i get home. AHHHHH.

You see my predicament. So here's what I need. Some suggestions about what to eat for lunch that will be filling AND healthy, and some dinner ideas. I tend to eat fruit, apple sauce and pudding at work during the day, I think I'm OK there. I just need some more variety. so if you have any ideas let me know. I'm not that picky of an eater (otherwise I wouldn't be in this situation) I just don't like turkey.

I'm doing well at the gym. I ran for 12 minutes today (not in a row, in 2 minute intervals). The crazy guy was there doing his crazy speed walking and then.......he RAN. I almost fainted. He can run. Not just crazy speed walk. He;s crazy.

Hello Peter

So there appears to be 3 rabbits hanging out at my place. They come over uninvited always hanging out in the parking lot shooting the shit when I get home from work. they eat all my lettuce, and drink all my water and leave me chocolate kisses on the couch. Well. not really. they stay mostly outside in the yard next door but have been in the parking lot when i get home at night. When do you sleep peter? I call them all Peter. All 3. Even when I see them all together. I give a wave and a shout "Hey Peter's" and off I go on my merry way. they seem nice enough. they seem slightly tame, which concerns me. Peter stays near the steps until I get close then he'll hop away, I tried to toss him some left over bread the other day but he didn't seem interested.

here is googles idea of what the Peters look like.

So I'm concerned. It's T-minus 11 days till Preggers baby shower and NO ONE has rsvp'd yet. NO ONE. So far I'll be there and Jules (who's co-hosting the shower) and Pam's mom. No one else has RSVP'd. Now the date to let us know by is Sunday, so I'm hoping these people are all just last minute slightly rude-ish people and not just plan NO SHOWS. I'm sure everything will be fine, I'm sure the people will call by Sunday and we'll know how many are coming. but I'm slightly annoyed. why would you wait so long. We mailed the invites on April 6, to give everyone plenty of notice. hum??? should i be concerned?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Milk chocolate rivers of candy magic!

I learned about this awesome give away and wanted to pass it on to you. I love the name of her blog, Hair Bows & Guitar Picks. That's great. You should swing by and check it out and maybe you'll get lucky. God knows I could stand to get lucky. Could I ever.

So my friend Soccermom was down from Buffalo last week for my birthday. I'm so awesome they came from far and wide to see me. while here we ventured to Hershey. Yes Hershey, PA the land of milk chocolate streams and kit kat bar roads. where it rains Hershey kisses and peppermint paddies grow on tress. A place that gives life to dreams of dancing candies and sugar people. It's a magical place. It's, dare I say, the sweetest place on earth. Off we go to visit Hershey and take the Chocolate World tour. If you haven't you should. If not for the great educational value the dancing cows bring you or the endless stream of fake coco beans, or the FREE candy at the end, do it for the song! I love the Hershey song. The real Hershey song, not this hopped up jazz version they are trying to pass off as the Hershey song (but that's a post for another day). So soccermom partook in her first Hershey's visit and I have NOTHING to show for it. this girl (me) who hardly leaves the house without her trust camerae (i swear that thing is jointed to my hand) forgot it. I blame the excitement that is chocolate world. I am so weak. So I don't have any pictures of us hugging life size Kit Kat's or pantsing the peppermint paddy. I have nothing. But I do have this fun photo from google!This is outside. See doesn't this make you want to break out into a dance number and end up jumping into a river of Milk chocolate while doing Jazz Hands. Come on!

Here is a picture (not of us) of the fun carts from the "tour" and i use that word loosely. It's not a REAL factory Tour. But it's fun! and you get to go into the Oven, or through the gates of hell (depends how you look at it). I'm aware that this picture looks slightly creepy with the faces "X" off, but I was trying to protect the identity of the people from the google photo (?). So that's what is new around here.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Here a pica there a pica

Signs I know i need MORE time off from my J.O.B.

  1. I can accurately draw boxes on my quark page that are just the right size for my obits.
  2. I find myself measuring things in pics.
  3. I answer my cell phone "Obit desk Amy speaking."
  4. I know most of my "regulars" who place memoriam and am often asked for by name.
  5. I remember obits we ran last month when no one else can remember the ones we ran yesterday.
  6. I find myself wondering odd things like "wonder if George would give me a tour of their crematorium?"
  7. I know 98% of the funeral directors in York but have only even seen roughly 10%.
  8. I find my self unconsciously referring and writing about everything in the past tense.
  9. I don't bat an eye when someone mentions their granddogs in an obit.
  10. I haven't snickered in almost a year at "floated peacefully to meet his almighty father on the wings of white doves, soaring over the river Jordan to the Pearly gates of heaven and eternal salvation." That's not even a joke. We've run this stuff.

Some lady yelled at me today. YELLED. at . me. For the record. It wasn't my fault. She. Didn't seem to care. First she wouldn't even tell me what was wrong, she said she wanted to talk to someone over me because I'm just an Obit Clerk. Ouch. Ok. As she told me how horrible a person I was, I couldn't help but wonder to myself, if her deceased mother, who she was placing the memoriam ad for, was pleased with her daughter at that moment. Often times when they are throwing a fit and being, for lack of a better word, DICKS. I often want to stop them and say "Ahh your (fill in recently deceased person relationship here) must be so proud that you are acting this way in their memory. Good job!" I swear. My dream would be to find out where those kind of people work and go scream at then unnecessarily. I don't understand why people have that "the customer is always right" mentality that they can say, do and act anyway they feel like because I CAN'T say anything back to them. Why not? I've often times had to repeat Over. and Over. and Over in my head DO NOT HANG UP ON THIS PERSON! What i really want to do is say, well thanks for the interest but we don't want your money. Go publish it in another newspaper. Jerks.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Back to the grind

Well my mini vacation is over. As of 3 p.m. today I'm back to work. yippee. Can you hear the excitement in my bloggy type? I dropped Soccermom at BWI today at 9:08 a.m. roughly 6 minutes before the time she wanted to be there. I'm awesome. I reached my house at 10:25 p.m. the exact time her flight took off for the greater Buffalo area. Then i took a nap. I was exhausted. It wasn't a busy hectic week/weekend. It was nice and relaxing, but having a house mate for 4 days is just plain tiring. We had fun. I picked her up Wednesday at 12 noon from BWI and we trekked back to York (about a hour and 15 min. drive) After unloading we ventured to my parents house for Ice cream Cake. I LOVE ice cream cake. My family. DOES NOT. They complained. and complained. and complained. You would think I was feeding them a cake made of beetles and mud. It's ICE CREAM cake people. geez.

My birthday was a BLAST! I know. A Blast! It's never a blast. But this year it was. We had a really good time. Big brother his GF, preggers, my parents, Jules and Steeler Fan, all accompanied me to the BAr Tuesday evening where we chowed down on food tossed back a few beers (much less then i normally would have seeing as I had to get up and be in Baltimore by noon) and played some pool. Good times. jules bought me a .,......wait for it............

That's right my friends. I got my jersey!!! Here's the funny thing. Soccermom also got me a jersey. She got me the Black normal jersey. Jules got me the white super bowl jersey. I text soccermom and told her about my awesome gift. She and her husband Mr. Soccermom packed up Tuesday and went to the store to return the jersey and buy me something else. I would have gladly taken both! Just my luck. But she got me a cool purse and some lotion and a necklace set. Preggers got us tickets to see Shinedown May 20 in Harrisburg! I'm stoked! She's just hoping baby doesn't plan to come during hte concert as her due date is a week or so later. I say it'll make for a good story. Hey maybe the news would reach the band and they would make a pit stop at the hospital to see the kid who had to come out for the concert! Well I have work to do I'll blog more later this week.

Oh bloggy friends how I've missed you. I caught up on all the stuff i missed last week, you people have been BUSY! I left comments but they are on old posts.I hope everyone sees them. :)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Who me?

Look what I come into today!Apparently the Birthday Fairy (A.K.A. Sharon) came in and decorated my desk. One of the balloons was a huge smiley face, she said it's like me....yellow! This isn't the best picture but it's from my phone. She also left me ......

BUDDY BARS!!!!! I heart BUDDY BARS!!! She gave em these because we're BUDDIES!!!

Don't miss out on my 27th birthday post!!! trust me it's GRRRREAT (also endorsed by Kellogs)

Monday, April 13, 2009

27 Years and Counting

My birthday. Hands down. Always a disaster. No really trust em on this one. The last birthday that went smoothly and I didn't want to smash my head intot he cake in pure frustration and angst. Was a surprise party Kitty threw for me when I was like 15 or 16. I swear to the birthday god, something alwasy happens. Little things. Big things. things in gernal. A Mess.

Now it's not fair to say the whole birthay thing sucks. I've had some really good birthday events after the fact. Like my 21st birthday outting was a blast. it was also a week after my actual birthday. The actual day i turned 21. Suck-a-roo fest! But in a last ditch attempt to prove to others and MYSELF thats it's not ME (and it always is) I've compiled a list of things that have happen on this date (april 14) through out the years. EnJoY! I'll list 27 things as I'm 27!

April 14 is the 104th day of the year (105th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 261 days remaining until the end of the year. (life line for trivia)

  1. 43 BCBattle of Forum Gallorum: Mark Antony, besieging Julius Caesar's assassin Decimus Junius Brutus in Mutina, defeats the forces of the consul Pansa, who is killed.

  2. 1471 – In England, the Yorkists under Edward IV defeat the Lancastrians under Warwick at the battle of Barnet; the Earl of Warwick is killed and Edward IV resumes the throne.

  3. 1828Noah Webster copyrights the first edition of his dictionary.

  4. 1831 – Soldiers marching on a bridge in Manchester, England cause it to collapse.

  5. 1846 – The Donner Party of pioneers departs Springfield, Illinois, for California, on what will become a year-long journey of hardship, cannibalism, and survival.

  6. 1859 - Charles Dickens' "A Tale Of Two Cities" published

  7. 1860 – The first Pony Express rider reaches Sacramento, California.

  8. 1865U.S. President Abraham Lincoln is shot in Ford's Theatre by John Wilkes Booth.

  9. 1881 – The Four Dead in Five Seconds Gunfight erupts in El Paso, Texas.

  10. 1912 – The British passenger liner RMS Titanic hits an iceberg at 11.35pm in the North Atlantic, and sinks the following morning with the loss of 1,517 lives.

  11. 1927 – The first Volvo car premieres in Gothenburg, Sweden.

  12. 1935 – "Black Sunday (storm)", the worst dust storm of the U.S. Dust Bowl.

  13. 1944Bombay Explosion (1944): A massive explosion in the Bombay harbor kills 300 causes economic damage valued then at 20 million pounds.

  14. 1948 - New York City subway fares jump from 5 cents to 10 cents

  15. 1956 – In Chicago, Illinois, videotape is first demonstrated.

  16. 1964-A Delta rocket's third-stage motor prematurely ignites in an assembly room at Canaveral, killing 3.

  17. 1978 -Korean Air Lines Boeing 707, fired on by Soviets, crashes in Russia

  18. 1986 – 1 kg (2.2 pound) hailstones fall on the Gopalganj district of Bangladesh, killing 92. These are the heaviest hailstones ever recorded.

  19. 1982- ME!!!!

  20. 1986 - Double-decker ferry sinks in stormy weather in Bangladesh killing 200

  21. 1989 - 1,100,000,000th Chinese born
  22. 1994 – In a U.S. friendly fire incident during Operation Provide Comfort in northern Iraq, two United States Air Force aircraft mistakenly shoot-down two United States Army helicopters, killing 26 people.

  23. 1994 - Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley announces plans to divorce

  24. 1994 - Branch Davidian cult leader David Koresh promises to surrender after completion of his Seven Seals manuscript

  25. 1999NATO mistakenly bombs a convoy of ethnic Albanian refugees – Yugoslav officials say 75 people are killed.

  26. 1999 – A severe hailstorm strikes Sydney, Australia causing A$1.7 billion in insured damages, the most costly natural disaster in Australian history.

  27. 2000Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich files a lawsuit against P2P sharing phenomenon Napster. This law-suit eventually leads the movement against file-sharing programs.

So theres some of the many thing si found. Interesting. And just think a tad less empty space in your brain now. Hmmm. That might not have sounded the best. I wasn't saying..... well what I meant to say was....... oh you know. I'm off for the rest of the week. that means back to the stone ages of NO INTERNET. My friend, Soccermom, is flying in Wednesday and we'll be busy painting the town fuscia the rst of the week. I'm sure I will have lots of pictures and funny stories when i come back SUNDAY.

Have a great week and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME and to MELISSA at 3 boys and a little lady. I wont be here to say Happy Birthday to you so HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOW!!!!

Tip Toe in the Tulips

I can't wait for tomorrow! Why? It's my birthday!! I love my birthday! I love birthdays. Mine, my fiends, my parents, kids, co-workers. I love the idea of one day all about ME! or YOU! or whoever is having the birthday. Well my best friend Kitty , the bestest real life best friend EVER sent me my birthday present today. I've been asking her every time i talk if she mailed my gift yet. She always said no. Well she's tricky. Today I received FLOWERS! Yes. I got flowers. At Work. for all the see and envy! Finally. It's my turn! I love it. I happen to be standing up front when the Royers flower truck pulled up in front of the door. I did what I always do i whispered over and over, "Maybe they are for me". They never are. NEVER. Well this time they were! I was so excited! Thanks BEST FRIEND! Does this mean I HAVE to sign up for snapfish now?

Please don't mind the random arm, it's mine. My pretty birthday flowers!!!!

So While at the bar Saturday night I seemed to catch the eye of the old guy next to me. He yapped all night about nothing and everything. Bought me a beer and offered to buy me a shot, but I passed. Nice enough guy. He said the words that are always muttered after meeting me in real life, "You don't smile much do you?". My famous answer, "not really". look I smile. I smile plenty. I just don't feel the need to sit around with a smile plastered onto my face. Usually I'm having a good time. usually. Just because I'm not smiling some Prozac endorsement or all hopped up on happiness like those weird happy moms you see that all smiles, doesn't mean I'm not happy. I'm thrilled. I just don't understand how happy I was supposed to be talking to a 51 year old married man who's son was there also. Odd.

Last week I encountered the weird guy at the gym. This guy is always there, but i usually steer clear of him because he's weird. He is. I'm sorry. But he is. He WALKS on the treadmill at 4 mph. walking so FAST he's basically running. But he NEVER actually runs. It's weird. Well last week he got on the treadmill right next to me and was doing his weird shit. I just looked straight ahead and watched the today while rocking out to some foreigner on my Mp3 player. Well weird guy keeps looking at me. looking hard like I should look at him. No thanks. I'm good. but he wouldn't stop looking at me. Now he's literally 8 inches away from me walking his crazy fast walking run shit and staring at me. Like it's his job! Then he starts looking down. No. Not even down at my boobs, which put on their own little show when i run. Nope he looks down at the control panel and checks out what I'm doing. Alright weirdo that is it. Look at me, look at my boobs bounce, look at my fat butt shake. But. do not. Look. At. My information. That's just weird. Worry about why it is your walking so damn fast if you just picked your foot up an inch more it would be a run. Worry about that weirdo.


Sunday, April 12, 2009

To bad the bunny wasn't there

First and foremost.And that's how I feel about that.

I'm not an Easter bunny hater but I thought this was funny. I would think it's because he really doesn't like toting around all those baskets full of chocolate hims. But I could be wrong. I mean personally I would love for people to want to and be encouraged to chomp down on my likeness. That's not weird in the slightest. I mean nobody pushes eatting Santa? Whats up with that?

Every year I tell my mom, "Please tell the Easter Bunny I don't need or want all that candy, I'll be in a chocolate coma for weeks." and every year with out fail that Damn Easter Bunny brings me a basket of CANDY. You know what PAL, thanks but no thanks. I'm working out I'm exercising I'm running/ walking (heavy on the walking) and what do you contribute to my motivation CADBURY CREAM EGGS! What a pal. Thanks.

I went to the bar last night. I received a phone call from Big Brother with his gf yelling in the background about coming tot he bar, they were having a Secret Treasures party, and I should come. Great. Because what goes better in a bar with a bunch of guys who are already hitting on anything with boobs, dildos and sex lube. What could go wrong here. I'll tell you. Mr. Ship that's what. Yepper-a-roo. Mr. Ship was there when I got there and he was there when I left...alone. We talked a few times. Mostly how do you does and about the weather. There was that brief moment when I said goodbye and asked if he wanted to leave also. He politely declined, while he starred intently into my eyes and rubbed my back. WTF? Whatever.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Flour power

So everyone MUST stop over and check out Mama Loco's 100th post! She is giving away the most Awesomest (that's right!) Stuff EVER! Swing by and check it out. You wont be disappointed. TRUST ME!

So I had lunch with my little cousins (7 year old twins ) and their mother on Friday. They took me to Olive Garden for an early birthday lunch (as my birthday is April 14). How nice.
This is the photo frame they gave me. Followed by some flowers. How cute. this is the first time I've gotten flowers in 4 years? 5 years? It's been awhile.
ahhh pretty flowers. Thanks girls! Funny thing, this must be the week of flowers. My grandmother brought everyone Lillies today when we had Easter dinner. Yes a day ahead of the norm. And we did it cookout style it was great! I loved it.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

"Bootsy was a Bitch"

Oh what a happy girl I am. HAPPY. To the max. Rescue Me is back on TV! I love me some disgruntle, nympho, foul mouthed, drunken firefighters! Who doesn't. I've watched Rescue Me since Season 1. Great show. Not for young audiences as there is a ton of swearing and lots of sex and sex talk. Oh an rampant drunken scenes. GOOD TIMES! Last nights episode did not disappoint. And I'm interested to see how the Michael J. Fox thing plays out. I heard he'll be on 4 episodes so this should be fun. Can't wait for the rest of the seasons. Now I have something to watch on Tuesday night aside form The biggest Loser, which I couldn't watch last night because Mommy want to watch fringe. Look I like weird movies and shows as much as the next person but last nights fringe was just plan weird and didn't answer any of my questions. It was like Lost minus the cool shit. I mean first how did that kid get down in that dark tunnel? How long was he there? Why doesn't he speak or acknowledge ANYTHING! How did he know where to send the cops and lastly he was freakin scare looking. Hello Powder!

Here's the crew from season 2 I think.

I think the only other shows that I get this excited for are Friday night Lights, and Deadliest Catch. I love me some football and crabs. Crabs to eat, not that kind you could catch from the football players. I'm trying (un)successfully to convince my cousin and her husband to take me out this Friday for my birthday. It's a tad early as my birthday is April 14th, but that's a Tuesday and most normal people can't go out on drinking binges on week nights. I can. Only problem about going out Friday night, I'll miss Friday Night Lights, and it's the season finale. What to do. I don't have Tivo or DVR or any of that junk. Stone age remember. But chances are we wont go out, as is tradition for my birthday to suck. Cross your fingers I get my night of drunken fun. I am however going to a birthday lunch with my cousin and her two twin 7 year old daughters. See Friday is my day off, her day off and the kids are off for some church going holiday, which I'm pretty sure cross the separation of church and state line, so they would like to take me to Olive Garden have lunch with the big girls. My cousin and i try to do lunch Fridays all the time. Some more successful then others.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Yummy in my tummy

My parents stumbled onto the Angel Food Ministries information and have been ordering food from them for 3 months or so now. If you don't know about them you have to check it out. Especially now when times are so tough for so many of us. It's not something you have to qualify for. Their motto is "If you eat, you qualify". Anyone can order food from the site or a local church and pick it up. and the people are very nice. Look I'm not pushing church. I'm not a church going gal and I'm not huge on the whole organized religion or religion in general to be honest. But the price is right and I can put on a smile, while feeling slightly uncomfortable, one Saturday a month when i pick my food up from the nice, god fearing christian, people. Thankfully, my parents have offered to order things for my brother and I each month. I have more non-deer meat in my freezer then I've had in years. Don't get me wrong I enjoy a good deer steak as much as the next but it's nice to have something other then deer in my meatloaf. When i moved into my apartment my cousin graciously filled my freezer with deer meat that his family didn't need. He's kinda of a big hunter and made out really great that year so I've had plenty and filled up a few extra times. But last season wasn't so great so Angel food came around at the right time for me. So below are some pictures of March's basket.

This was the regular box for March. I don't eat Pinto beans but maybe someday.

Just about everything in here is from Angel food. See it's just me so it takes me MUCH longer to eat all the meat, and veggies. My brother goes through his food in a week or 2 I have steak from the first time (Feb). Like the dog picture my nephew colored me?

Yes dear friends that is ice in my freezer. I live in the stone age. No Internet at home, no cable, and a fridge that doesn't de-ice it's self. Livin' LARGE! Oh I forgot to carry in the water for my bath! Dang it.

Monday, April 6, 2009


Since everyone has been chomping at the bit to see some pictures of me in my super awesome apron I won from Mama Kat's Apron giveaway I will now delight you with pictures. Or will I??? No I really have the photos for a change.

But first allow me a few moments to explain how the apron came to me. It came via mail to my parents house, as I don't trust the shady individuals in my neighborhood. I have one of those small mail boxes so large items are usually discarded on the front porch of the house. I opted to have it delivered to the safety of my parents suburbia home. When i open it it was tied with a matching blue ribbon and looked really nice. It is really nice. I love it. So cute. It makes me feel kinda girly. My other apron is dark purple, which is great for when I'm making meatloaf and playing with raw meats. The new apron will not be worn for such things. Mainly baking. It's to cute I wouldn't want to get it really dirty and stained.

so with out further delay here you go.
I took this myself. Please disregard the mess in the background.

Well there you have it everyone. My apron. It's kinda short compared to what I'm used to. but super cute. I wont lie it makes me want to pull up my hair throw on my best 1950's dress, my pearls and pumps and bake cookies for the husband and 2.5 kids (i don't have). Ahh Dream big don't I.

Have a great day everyone!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Good and the Bad

I bought all the supplies, plates, napkins, cups, things to eat with, and decorations for Preggers Baby shower! super exciting. I've also uploaded some photos which I'll be sharing with you this week. Yes dear friends I have Apron Photos! Here's the 411 on the photos. I don't have Internet access at home. Yes I'm aware we've come out of the stone age. I have not. So I have to take my camera over to Deaksters house where he so kindly allows me to upload my stuff on his computer. Which I'm about 99% positive I broke today. So that's why it's taken so long. I'm dumb and kept forgetting to take it with me. Ugh. I hate that. So I did that this weekend. I also left said camera at his house and it now has some very flattering pictures of his dog, Deakster giving me the finger and dog poop. thanks!

So here's the plates i bought!

See the invites had a train on them so when i saw this i thought JACKPOT! The decorations all have the same patterns and colors. They are pretty cute.

Here are the awesome M&M's I had made for the favors.

Yes My friends That is Preggers face on some M&M's. They also Congrats Pam (her christian name), Baby on Board and Mom to Be.

The BAD~

They laid off 3 people in the advertising department here at the Newspaper. I was very sad to hear about that. this kind of news is very unsettling. Makes you stop and take stock of how expendable you are. I'm concerned. Could they do obits with only 2 people instead of 3...yes. Would it involve a completely different schedule. Yes. Will they go that route if Classified decides to let someone go.....I don't know. And that makes me sick to my stomach. Very sick. Maybe hiring all those new people when they announced the furlough shit wasn't the WORLDS GREATEST IDEA. Fun thing. They are still hiring people. Explain that to me please?

Friday, April 3, 2009

Chocolate covered Ponies!

ATTENTION! There will b pictures of the AWesome Apron this week. I've uploaded them and I will post them sometime. Stay tuned.
But here are a few from my day today. I bought some yummy Chocolate bars.
WE got these when we were in Boulder, CO last year to visit Kitty. They are so yummy! Our local grocery store carries them which is exciting so I bought one tonight Inside they have poems. It's intersting.

Then my night was filled with a big night of coloring. Yes I'm working on 27 ina week and a half and I spent a ncie amount of time coloring by myself at my house tonight in a BRAND NEW coloring book. What can i say it's relaxing.

I purchased a My little Pony coloring book at Dollar General tonight and here are the end results.

As I'm not sure of teh correct colors for the ponies I used my creative abilities to make them Amy Awesome. The top one is a few different shades of green

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Loss of my innocence

A time when i was afraid. Hum??? Let's see there was that time I hide from the police in the shed after Big Brother and his friends terrorized the paperboy with a BB gun. Hey I wasn't going to jail, I'm way to pretty for jail. Or the time BB woke me up out of a dead sleep because he was bleeding profusely from his arm. But that was a whole different kind of scared. Or the time I had to tell my Dad I got yet another speeding ticket. I've had some scary times. Once I had to step in between two very disgruntle guys at a party and talk one of them into putting down the 2x4. But none of that crazy scary I might die today stuff comes anywhere close to the night I was sure would be the end.

I love scary movies. LOVE. But I'm a wimp. I cover my eyes a squeeze them shut till they hurt sometimes. But I LOVE scary movies. My friend says I'm dumb, I say if i don't allow myself to become scared, then what is the point of watching them. HELLO MCFLY! So we watched 30 Days of Night. Now that movie scared the shit out of me. Fugitive not literally or that might have been the scariest moment of my life. There are a few things we all know. A few things that are dare I say set in stone. The #1 thing being. Vampires CAN NOT come into your home uninvited. CAN NOT! Well it seems someone forgot to pass that important information along to these vampires. Because they just jumped through the window and yanked people out by their hair! When this happen my reaction was, "HEY HEY you can't do that! You have to be invited in! What is this crazy shit!"

After the movie was over I ventured out to my car and drove home. While it's only maybe 5 miles to my house I was scared to DEATH. I checked my backseat at every light and flicked the interior light on in my cargo area a few times. When i got home I jumped out of the car ran up the steps and slammed the door shut. I was sure I was going to die! All night I lay in bed thinking, I'm not safe in here, I have two big windows and one is off the porch. Easy access for this new wave of no boundary vampires. They'll get me for sure. I lay there thinking any moment would be the moment the vampire would hurl it's self through my window and yank me out by my hair. I really thought that was it. Before I would have thought "well I'm inside and there's no way in hell I would invite them in so I'm safe". Not anymore. Thanks dumb movie.

Swing over to Mama Kat's and read what the rest of us have to say

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Inside my Space

I've been really bad about blogging lately. Mainly because I've found that at 150 post I don't have much left to say. Nothing is happening in my life, and I'm awfully busy here at work. Unfortunately they do require me to work while I'm here not just blog and cruise the Internet. The nerve of some people. But have no fear. I'm not saying my goodbyes. I'm saying my "sorry" if you have been forced to read my lame and boring posts as of late. I'll try harder from now on.

I decided to take some pictures of my desk area for your enjoyment. I know I can feel the excitement in your mouse click. Below are some interesting things I have "acquired"
This is "Rat dude". He looks slightly like Hitler Rat in this picture, but I promise that he has no known hatred toward Jewish rats. Rat dude found his way to my desk via my pal Moma Bear. MB grabs breakfast at Mickey D's everyday and found this in with her sausage biscuit. Apparently someone thought it would be good to hand out happy meal toys with breakfast. So thank you kind sir.

This is my "decorated" computer. Let me introduce you to my friends. Let's see. clockwise from the bottom left is part of the box my Smart Ass Calender from MB came in. Next we have my nephews picture from the Valentines kid thing I put in the paper for him. I'm so cool. Next we have part of the cranium calender box MB got me 2 years ago. The pink guy is Lovie the Love Lizard. I won him at some carnival in the middle of nowhere which is a story for another day. But he is my inspiration for when I do engagement announcements. He has a cig he smokes that MB rolled out of paper. (we have time on our hands). Next is my Steelers love! Followed by lastly WWMD? What does that mean? Well thanks for asking. It stands for What Would Marie Do. Marie is the person they fired right before giving em her job. After she left she mailed in "revisions" to my celebrations pages marked in red to my BOSS! She's a jerk. WWMD is a joke on her. Because that's how I rollAnd last but not least this is my memo board. I like to put things on their that make me snicker. Funny cartoons from the paper, random photos (printed to scale for the paper) left behind from obits that kind of stuff. So here is what my desk area looks like for the most part. There are a few things missing from the photos. Namely the desk. But also the phone and my pac man picture, our hearse photo and me and the nephew cheesing for a photo. But you get the gist.