Wednesday, November 27, 2013

What's best about being a kiddo.

Mama Kat wants to know the 10 best things about being a kid. 

In not certain order

1. Napping. We should have stuck with that one. I'm positive my productivity would be much better after a nice afternoon nap. Or at least I wouldn't get so grumpy after lunch. 

2. Recess. Just imagine if you could settle all your meetings with a rousing game of dodge ball. Who doesn't want to see their boss or snarky co-worker bite it on the monkey bars? 

3. Bath time. Yes, even as adults we can enjoy a nice bath. BUT we can't bust out the Mr. Bubble and our beach babie with her jet ski to cruise around the tub.

4. Pure joy. Everything is AWESOME when you're young. Everything is new and exciting. Now pure joy is replaced with realism. Sure, it's cool but I bet it's expensive now replaces any thought of awesomeness. 

5. Lack of fear. My brother and I often sit and talk about the things we did as kids.... Ad how we find it hard to believe we lived through it. My mom can't figure out how we did either. We loved American Gladiators, and we always wanted to be on the show and do the course where you have to dodge the tennis balls the gladiator shoots at you. So we practiced by setting up a course and throwing ROCKS at each other.

6. Summer. When you're a Kid you get 3 months of vacation. As an adult you need to work someplace for an eternity and give them a kidney to get 3 weeks off. 

7. Water balloons. Hit me with one now and I'll smack a bitch.

8. Coloring. Nothing is as relaxing as coloring. I'll tell you a secret.......I still color all the time. 

9. Trick-or-treating. I LOVE. Halloween. LOVE IT. But I guarantee if I went out trick or treating ( I don't have any kids) pa would be escorted home via the police. Who wouldn't be alarmed by a 32 year old women dressed up and pan handling. That's only acceptable from children under the age of 13 one night a year.

10. Riding the bus to school. I WISH I could catch a bus to work everyday. A work bus with my name written on a notecard above a certain seat. My co-workers and I could jump over seats and make friendship bracelets. And I wouldn't have to drive and cuss at other drivers! 

Those are my top ten things about being a kid. 

Friday, November 22, 2013

Dear me

Over the last few weeks I've encountered different things asking you to reflect back on your past. So today I've decided to write a post to my younger self.

Dear me:

If you take nothing else away from this letter, please know you are GREAT. And your future is something to be proud of. I don't come bearing winning lotto numbers or get rich quick ideas. I don't write to tell you to BE BETTER, or be STRONGER, or anything like that. I come with advice to help you see what truly matters but not to avoid the things that brought you to were you are today. Because TODAY is pretty great. But getting here was a mix of pain and greatness. 

If I told you to avoid this, and not do that, how would you learn. The moments that will force you to develop strength and compassion will be hard. They will be VERY HARD. But life is hard. But you must open your eyes and be present for the whole journey.

When you feel alone. Know that you aren't. Know that more people care than you think. Know that more people would be willing to share in your journey if you would only let them in. 

When you feel angry. Breath. Breath deeply. And realize this thing, this event, this anger you are feeling will pass. It may hurt, it might take a while but it'll pass. Try not to dwell on it. Try not to hold onto it. Try not to let it bring you down. Know that the grudges you hold will hurt you more in the long run. 

When things are tough. Take a moment to step back, clear your head, and remember what you are working towards. What is your goal? Make sure you haven't lost sight of the truly important things. Family. Friends. Life. And Love. 

I could tell you who to avoid. Because there are many people you should. There are people who will cloud up your view of who you are. They will knock you down. They will hurt you. It will be hard. You will care for them. They will care for you but not on the level you need. I could tell you to run. I could tell you to ignore them. But you will gain strength from each relationship. They are a huge part of who you are TODAY. 

You will want to give up. MANY TIMES. You will doubt your choices at EVERY turn. But you will make it. You will find yourself. And you will carve out a life to be proud of. When you trip, stumble and fall. GET UP. Keep walking. When you reach for something and can't touch it. Look around you. Make sure they people helping hold the ladder are cheering you on. Know that with each heart ache, each pain, each happiness you are becoming the person you are meant to be. 

Enjoy the journey. Enjoy your life. It's the only one you will have. Know that you are loved and you will be loved forever. 

The you of 2013.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013


Today my cousin goes to court to work out some sort of custody agreement with her husband. They have been living apart for well over a year now, but have yet to file any type of divorce or separation papers. This isn't my problem. And it shouldn't be...she's 3 months away from turning 40.  But until yesterday afternoon she had no lawyer. He does. She had no idea what to do. He did. And she had for the most part. Given up. He hasn't.

My cousins is more like a sister. Even through she's 10years older then me we have been very close. And I love her. But she makes bad choices. Very bad choices. She got pregnant at 15 had her second child by 18 and two more (twin girls) at the age of 28. She has a lot of anger inside of her. Angry she missed out on being a kid. Angry she had to grow up with her kids. Angry that she got married so young. Just angry. BUT. She made those choices. It's been a rocky marriage. No one is surprised that its coming to an end. Actually more surprised at how long it lasted. 

She left her husband awhile ago. And things.....started to unravel. Her husband, who I have called my cousins since I was 7 started to turn into someone I didn't know. He started doing things I never would have thought he was capable of. He's set out to hurt her. And I can understand that to a point. He's hurt. He's mad. He still loves her. He says he doesn't, but I know better. 

But right now there are two very impressionable 12 year old girls who need their mom. And their Dad. If only they could figure that out. 

My mom and I have spent the last year and a half trying to explain to her why she shouldn't bad mouth their dad around them. To be honest, she doesn't get it. She thinks if his family talks bad about her then its ok for her to talk bad about them. NO. putting each other down on Facebook. Putting family down on Facebook period sends me into a rage like no other.  I have no tolerance for that. Is like align with two high school students. And it frankly... Pisses me off. 

I just want them to grow up. Open their eyes. And stop hurting their children. Because they say 'they want what's best for the girls' but what they really want is to WIN. To be the one who was right. I've watched the husband influence the oldest son in to not talking to his mother, because he doesn't know what his father does. Sending inappropriate text messages to her. Harassing her when she doesn't have the girls, texting her all day long when she does. Making the girls call her every night to find out where she is and who she's with. Not letting her talk to the girls when she calls and then telling everyone she's to busy to talk to her kids. And I know this because she's currently living with my mom. My mom has dealt with it first hand. And he denies all of it. He refuses to leave the house they rent from her parents. And the lawyers say she should move back in and live separately from him. She tried that. He made it hell. He's angry. I understand that. But shutting off the water when he left for work and the girls were in school, Or standing outside her bedroom yelling about what a piece of crap she was, while the girls were in the other room, isn't the right thing. 

I don't know what's going to happen today. I just hope something happens that will cause them to get moving in the right direction.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013


So we had a normal enough wall separating our living spaces. 

I don't have a before picture so just picture this but as a solid wall.

We have decided to leave the heating duct in place and have a half wall with a pilar

MAYBE this will help...........
Our plan is to open up the right half of the wall up to the heating duct. There we will place a column (drywall up around it) and on the left of it we will have a short wall with a window cut out of it.

It's just nice to be able to see my husband at night. I can't wait till we get it finished.

BUT before that happens we want to put some lights in the ceiling because neither of the rooms has lighting. And the hubby wants to wire it for ceiling fans because........he is sorta obsessed with them.

So I don't think it'll be done by thanksgiving.......maybe Christmas. A girl can dream right. 

Hey Santa please bring me a finished living for Christmas. PLEASE.