Wednesday, December 31, 2008

If I knew then........

WOW. thank heavens for Moma Kats writing assignments this week. I swear I've blogged all week on those prompts. I'm not sure if that's legal. If it's not, I hope she doesn't come knocking on my door tonight with her Moma Kat Handcuffs and cart me off to bloggers jail. Swing by her site for this weeks prompts. I'll give you a heads up this is the 3rd prompt I've done this week I would blog about gluten free stuff, But I'm not sure about anything like that.

New Years Eve. for the most part I've spent most of them since reaching the legal drinking age (darn near 6 years ago) at home sitting on the couch watching TV. With sporadic trips out to friends and a few hours spent with family during those times. I don't think I've ever really "gone out" for New Years since I've been legal. How sad. Thanks Moma Kat now I'm slightly depressed. Fantastic way to start this new year. But I do have a great New Years Eve Story.

Sometime in college somewhere between freshman and Sophomore year I went to State College ( as in Penn State university) to party with my BFF and her then boyfriend for New Years. We rolled into town picked up her man and hit up the state store. during which time we sat in the car since, well we were MINORS. Aren't the best drinking stories underage stories. so he bought us, oh the horror of actually typing this, Mikes Hard Lemonade. I would like to mention that I haven't consumed it since that night. I hate that stuff and I think Mike sucks also.

So out comes Mr. Man of the hour with our alcohol. good times begin to ensue. I'm not sure what happen. I'm not sure if the fact that all the people we were celebrating with had attended high school with us, or if it was the fact they all knew my older brother. But I "felt" the need to live up to the acceptations of being a McMean. I'd like to say I held my own, that I drank those ruffians under the table, that I single handily was the last standing person, i would like to say that. but I can not. that would be a lie. that would be not even close to the truth. I did hold my own....for awhile. and then I came undone. We played a lot of beer pong 9i think, that night is very sketchy in my mind) I know there was beer pong. And Poker. My BFF, hard to believe we are still friends after what I'm about to say, bet my virginity. Yes. my virginity. what a pal. At some point I had enough of Mike and his hard lemonade ways and my BODY felt the need to purge it's self of the nasty flit. and it did. Purged it's self all over the commode in Mr. Mans apartment. In my defense I cleaned it up "pretty" good, and then proceeded to pass out on the floor.

the next day BFF and Mr. Man wanted to go "do stuff". I wanted to sleep. FOREVER. Never get up AGAIN. I also wanted to DIE. and I'm sure at some point uttered those words EVER hungover person has said at one point. I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN! But I have and i will. I remember at some point my friend, Mr. Man and his friend, nothing but teeth, urged me to get up and go to dinner. Yes dinner. Yes I laid on his couch ALL DAY! so off we go to chilies. and thus begins my long running avoidance of chilies until this year. when our food came I couldn't even look at it. and the smells from every ones plates mixed with the rumbling in my empty stomach, didn't seem to like each other and off i went to the bathroom. I would like to say, i made it into the stall before spewing what little liquids and solids i had in my stomach, i would like to say I didn't make a mess, I would like to say none of this happen....but I can not. No sooner had i opened the door but everything came out, up, to the surface, how ever you word it i up chucked all over the bathroom. all over the sink, mirror, wall, floor, all over the door, trashcan, you name i left something on it. But not the Commode. I never made it that far. I imagine it looked like the pea soup scene. I attempted to clean it up. Attempted. BFF came looking for me and we all split. sorry Chilies in State College. I really didn't mean for that to happen. thankfully they weren't busy. and i really did try to clean it up. Also thank you for (I'm pretty sure they knew what was happening) not coming in and making me feel even worse. Again Sorry about the stomach acid on the mirror.

needless to say I've avoided all things Chilies like the plague. I guess maybe part of me was positive that Chilies had circulated my photo around to ALL their restaurants under the heading BATHROOM DESTROYER.

So that's my horrific New Years Eve. that's the year I wish i would have skipped. Gross with a uppercase G.


Diane said...

Oh God, that brought back memories. I hate hangovers. I swear, they're the only reason I never became an alcoholic. Ick.

Happy New Year!!

Anonymous said...

I have never had a drunken night quite that bad and after reading this I'm so thankful. I'm a lightweight anyhow so I probably couldn't even hold the glass up long enough to get THAT bad.

I see why you stay home now.

Wifey Dessert said...

omg that is hilarious!!!! stomache acid is a particularly hard thing to clean up haha... trust me i know ;)