Wednesday, December 10, 2008

O Christmas Tree.....I'm so sorry

Our company, which is obviously run by pants pooping monkey's put up their Christmas tree yesterday. I had hoped to post a wonderful picture of what seemed on the outskirts to be a promising tree this year. However, hopes and dreams are squashed here at YNC. So much like myself and my future this tree was doomed the moment upper management put their hairy, smelly monkey fingers on it at the tree lot. Fitting it seems. YNC the place trees come to face total damnation. Our poor tree. It would be laughed right out of school, if it attended school. I bet at night it cowers in the dark praying no one tells it's treey friends what has become of it. Sure, much like myself, this tree thought a future with YNC could be bright and promising. This ivory tower newspaper building must offer some type of hope for tomorrow. Nope. The only bright future this tree has is from the fluorescent light directly above it. and I don't mean the star, as this tree is lacking one.

See the monkeys sent their minions to procure the tree. Now they didn't do a half bad job. From what I heard (while eavesdropping) while watching the tree be put up (all 5 times) was that they had haggled the cost down to $60. Yes $60 for this huge tree. Pretty darn good negotiating. Maybe they should get those people in on our health insurance meetings. You know the one where they decided to bump our deductible up to $1500. Yeah If you have any cold medicine laying around not being used feel free to Fed Ex it to me. I wont be seeing a doctor for.....ever again.

So the monkey's in training bring the afore mentioned tree back to monkey headquarters, beat their chests, eat bananas and toss a few handfuls of poop around the room, all the while wearing tiny suits and clapping cymbals. So lets see if i can draw you a picture in words of what happen next.

Up goes tree. Oh to big can't even stand up. down comes tree. They break out some scissors, yes my friends scissors, and snip off about 6 inches. Now The fact that the ceiling tiles were shoved WAY UP into the roof, should have alerted this crew of monkeys in training to the fact that 6 inches wouldn't be nearly enough. oh well let's see (visualize.)

Up goes tree. Up goes ceiling tiles. Monkey's make monkey noise. Down comes tree. snip snip snip more twigs gone and scissors break.

up goes tree. Up goes tiles. Uhm?? Now what. A bunch of monkeys stand around looking and picking bugs off each other. Some how they cut off more of the tree, thinking back they must have gnawed through the bark and sap with those big honking monkey teeth.

Up goes tree. Wow super tight fit. down comes tree. Almost there little buddies.

Up goes tree. Monkeys say forget the star wont fit.

So the trees up and that's when they realize that they don't have nearly enough decorations to do this glorious tree justice. So this my friends is what we are left with.

Sad isn't it. a Gosh darn shame. Can you imagine this beautiful tree up with these crap ass decorations. Stupid poop throwing pant wear monkeys. The sad thing is this is day 2 and no progress has been made on getting more decorations for the tree. UGLY with a big UGLY .

So I'm off...(not just today everyday) work. Not just today but the next 4 days. I'll be baking my yummy goodness tomorrow and Friday. Wish me luck, patience, and yummy goodness. I'm not sure if i will be able to do Mama Kat's workshop tomorrow due to the fact I don't have a computer at home. Yeah we don't have much electric in the cave i live in. And i still cook my rabbit I caught on the way home over an open pit fire. What can i say I'm not up with this new technology like computers :)

I wont be able to post in Mr. Linky tomorrow, but when i get a chance I'll stop by and read what you guys had to say. Maybe I'll be bale to post, I'm not sure.

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