Wednesday, August 31, 2011

6 months

It's been six months. I can't even believe it. One day it feels like just yesterday we were planning a funeral, and the next it feels like it's been FOREVER. I felt better, I thought i was doing better.....but lately. I don't know. I don't know if it's the summer and the fact that we spent so much time at my parents house in the summer, that it just doesn't feel right this summer without my dad. Or maybe it's the fact that things are happening and i just really wish he was here. He never got to see Jeremy's house, where I'm now living. He never got to see Sarah swim in the pool or see Kanyon's new Mohawk.

I've spent some time recently going through the old photos at my mom's house. I want to make copies for my brother and I and get all the photos saved onto disks. It's pretty hard. So many memories. So many good times. So many tears from just looking at them. My plan is to make a few photo books for my family of all the old pictures so we'll have them forever. Here are just a few of the ones I've found so far.

Dad and I goofing off

on his motorcycle, which my brother is fixing up

I love this photo, he was on his bike

my parents- so young

George and Dad

Dad and I at Easter

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Not again

I'm not sure what happen.

When I came home from the beach in June i suddenly started sleeping great at the boyfriends house. For as long as I can remember I've never slept well any place but my own bed. I've had many sleepless nights over the years. Sleeping, all around is a problem for me. But since June, no problem. It's been great.

I was pretty concerned about the issue of not sleeping well here......what with me moving in. but it's been great. Or was Great. up until about two weeks ago it was wonderful. But not anymore. I'm back to not sleeping well. He leaves 2 hours before me and I'm having a lot of trouble going back to bed after he leaves. I'm not sure why this started all the sudden again.

But if i had to guess I would assume it has something to do with the stress from work and the DEEP hatred I have for my job. Because about two weeks ago they started playing "change McMeans schedule around every week" and they changed the entire way we do things. No reason to be stressed right.

I just wish I could go back to sleeping well again. I'm so tired. and my body hurts all over.

Things to do this weekend~ 1. quit my job 2. get massage :)

Sunday, August 14, 2011

so much.... but yet so little

I'm sure so much has happen since the last time I blogged. I'm sure I've been busy. Going places. Seeing people. Working. Laughing. Crying. Spending money. Spending time. Sleeping. Eating. Watching TV. Reading books. I'm sure it's been a time to talk about. To write about. To share.

But for the life of me......I can't think of anything worth mentioning. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. But I know something is. I'm not sure if I'm mad, if I'm sad, happy, or content. I just don't know. Some days I find myself asking I trying to convince myself I'm happy.....or convince myself I'm not.

I feel like I have huge case of the winter blahs. But it's August. It's summer. And next to Fall, this is my favorite part of the year. Cookouts. Swimming. Reading in the sun. Laying by the pool. Playing with my nephew, my niece, my little cousins. Picnics at the lake. Trips to Crisfield. Sitting around the table chatting with the family. But for the life of me.......I can't remember ONE thing that I've done that really mattered all summer.