I here by dub today NUTSO DAY at the NEWSPAPER! Actually that's a fitting name any day but truly fitting today. I must have one of those faces. One of those faces that makes people unload on me. Not in a mean nasty yell and scream unloading kind of way, in a tell me your deep dark secrets kind of way. I really don't want to know anyones secret. I'm completely content not knowing your secrets. to much pressure. I've had to keep a few secrets in the last year and I'm so glad most of them are out now. (sigh of relief). I don't understand why a complete stranger would tell another complete stranger anything personal. Maybe I'm the weirdo. But I keep my shit to myself, well figuratively not literally i let waste management handle that. I had a little motto in college and still hold onto it every now and then. Keep your feelings inside where they belong (or blog about them). Well that rings true for your secrets, weird bodily functions conversations, random personal facts, information about your kid (only applies to random strangers at work, i love hearing about your kids!) which I don't care about, and any complaints you have about my appearance, personality, or work ethics. so anywho. I'm helping a lady with her anniversary announcement today, yeah i do those too, and she drops this bomb on me. let me see if this helps explain it. Picture this. I have just handed her back her wedding photo and she is placing it in the album on the other page is a photo of a very young her and very young Mr. old lady and he is removing her garter. following conversation IS NOT EDITED
Old Lady~ (points at the garter photo and says) Yeah my mom gave me nice legs.
Me~ (awkward laughter)
Old Lady~ (smiling) he really liked taking that garter off.
Me~ (refer to my earlier response)
Old Lady~ i was a virgin when we got married.
Me~ (refer to above response)
WTF? TMI! OMG! <---Sorry about that. Just kind of feel into a pattern. Yeah, so would you tell some random girl you met 3 minutes ago your life story? i wouldn't. NUTSO DAY AT THE NEWSPAPER. To prove the whole nutso day at the newspaper theory enjoy this conversation that I witnessed between my co-worker and nutso #2
C-W~ What day would you like this in the paper
Nutso2~ The 27th of November
C-W~ Ok that's a Thursday
Nutso2~ What did that change since last year, it wasn't a Thursday last year? (really happen)
C-W~ Well...yeah the days of the week change every year. Last year it would have fallen on a different day.
Nutso~ Oh Ok.
It's been a weird day here. I can't even imagine all the weird things that I haven't been privy too.
Oh i penned a new letter to Santa and tried to submit it AGAIN for print. Here is what was submitted.
Dear big guy,
I would really like some money for Christmas. If it would be more convenient I could forward my electric bill to you at the north pole. I've been a good girl this year, I'm way to broke to be bad. Along with the money please bring me some food, canned goods would be great. If you need help making toys or pulling the sleigh you could hire me part time as an elf/reindeer. I'm a little tall but I'll stoop down so the other elf's wont resent my height. I'm strong and look good in a harness so if you need a back up reindeer, incase Prancer calls in sick, I'm available. I don't have antlers but I do have a nice rack. Just think if you hired me you might not have to bring as much money and food. If all your canned food and money are on back order I'll settle for a boyfriend. Thanks pal. Enjoy your last week off work. I'll see you on the 24th, if not before.
Amy M.
P.s..
I'll leave some hot wings and grape soda for you at my place.
Here is what will be printed.
Dear Santa,
I would really like some money for Christmas. If it would be more convenient I could forward my electric bill to you at the north pole. I've been a good girl this year, I'm way to broke to be bad. Along with the money please bring me some food, canned goods would be great. If you need help making toys or pulling the sleigh you could hire me part time as an elf/reindeer. I'm a little tall but I'll stoop down so the other elf's wont resent my height. Just think if you hired me you might not have to bring as much money and food. If all your canned food and money are on back order I'll settle for a boyfriend. Thanks pal. Enjoy your last week off work. I'll see you on the 24th, if not before.
Amy M.
P.s..
I'll leave some hot wings and grape soda for you at my place.
uhm HELLO McMean met your archenemies CENSORSHIP! Stop trampin on my rights bitch.
p.s. If you don't know what Three Mile Island is google it. learn something new today!
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