Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I thought I....The first time......poems?.....history....AHHH

I'm having a tough time deciding what to write about. I'm not leaning towards any one prompt. Maybe my brain is on vacation today, maybe I'm to focused on the Start of Top Chef tonight to form a coherent thought. Trust me I'm not capable of multitasking. Really ever to be honest. My best friend wont talk to me while I'm watching TV. apparently I make granting noises and don't really say anything. Whatever. To each their own. Here goes.....

The first time I saw him I knew I liked him. I have no idea why. I still have no idea why. The first time I saw him was in a bar, a bar I would frequent with him and without him often in the following years. I was young, well younger then I am now, and looking for something to make me not so angry anymore. I remember it clear as day. I was sitting at one end of a long line of tables pushed together. He was sitting at the other end. I had no idea who he was, but I noticed him. I thought to myself, he'll never come over if this drunk guy sitting across from me doesn't let up with his "You're pretty" speech long enough for me to tell him to bug off. I was in the last chair on the right side he was sitting at the head of the other end. Someone mentioned his name and I realized I'd heard of him. I knew about him. A quick introduction was made and it's been down hill since then. It's a train wreck of a love/hate "ship" I would never use the word relationship, that implies things. things I'm not to imply when it comes to him. I've never meant someone who I desperately think I hate and desperately care about all at the same time. The first time I saw him I was interested. The first time I saw him I remember like it was yesterday. I've tried to forget, I've tried avoidance but he always comes back, weeks, months, seasons, he always comes back. The first time I saw him give me that sideways glance look, the first time I saw him smile at me, the first time I saw him reach across for me, I remember it all. Sometimes I think the first time I saw him was the beginning of my Doomsday. He's driven me crazy, he's ignored me and treated me like crap, he's made me laugh, made me smile, kept me up forever talking, he's made me pee my pants, gotten me drunk with anger, and caused me to throw a thing or too across the room. I'm not even sure the word train wreck is a good enough description of our ....whatever you might call it. I know it's a bad idea every time. I know in the end I'll walk away a little more jaded and a little more broken hearted then the last time. But I can't seem to help myself. all because of the first time I saw him. The first time I saw him seems like only yesterday.

If you want to do Mama Kats writing assignment go to her blog

9 comments:

Melissa said...

I wonder who "him" is??? Oh and my son is the SAME way while watching TV; I can say something over and over and over again and he doesn't even blink!! :)

Diane said...

Wow. I hope you figure out what your '...ship' is, if that's what you want. It's hard when someone you care about can inspire such negativity in you. I know how that is :)

Simply AnonyMom said...

You just totally described the relationship I have with my hubby. Weird. I am gald I am not the only one in this type of relationship, but it SUCKS to be in one, KWIM??

Thank you for stopping by today.

Kelly said...

I am not sure that all of us have been in this type of "ship" but I know I sure have! It is almost manic the highs and lows!

Weeksie50 said...

I totally zone when I am watching television too..

Jay @halftime lessons said...

Nicely done!! Liked getting a glimpse into your relationship.
Jay @ HalftimeLessons.com


PS...do you know that your word verification is on? You can easily turn it off...
I wrote about how to do it here...

Rachel said...

that was like a scene out of a movie! who is this "him" that you speak of?!?

Carrin said...

Haven't we all had a "ship" like that in our lives!

Mama Kat said...

Sounds like a roller coaster all right!! I hope you find someone who makes you happy!