Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Because I can't wait wait wait

I posted this after I posted my texting prompt. You should read both. Very funny, not to toot my own horn, but I'm a funny girl. TOOT TOOT!

I've decided on which prompt I'll be posting for tomorrow and can't wait to post it. I like that Mama Kat gives us a little more time now, but I'm dieing to post my prompt. See I'm that person. I'm the person everyone hates at holidays and birthdays. I want to TELL you what it is I got you, as soon as I get it. the anticipation of the surprise is to much for me. I want to know what all my presents are, because there's no way I can wait to find out. I'm a present snoop. I'm almost 27 and i still snoop around my moms typical hiding places to find out what I'm getting. When i buy someone a gift I tell them right away that I have something for them and ask if they want to know. I'm horrible. I should be taken out and shot. I bought my BFF tickets to go see Rent and I couldn't wait for her to come home for Christmas I called her and told her a few days after I purchased them. I suck. So I've decided after editing my post for tomorrow 3 times I would do the pet peeves post. I still feel like I'm breaking the law, so it's good.

My top 10 pet peeves.

10. I hate obligatory conversation. Like when my boss stops at my desk and I feel obligated to acknowledge her, even though the only thing I'm thinking when she stops is "Why hasn't the zoo come looking for their lost hippo yet?"

9. Accusations of not listening. I have a co-worker, be it a friend of mine, but she's overly chatty. When I get to the office the first thing I do is sing on to my computer, pull up my email and blog and take care of business. She wants to chat about her life, diet, work, shoe size...whatever. I'm usually not listening. She's right. But a blind man can see that when I'm blogging and reading my many favorite blogs, I'm as attentive as a man watching the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders warm up.

8. Fast food workers. I know most of them aren't bad. Most are great. But the few that suck really tick me off. I hate the ones with the attitude that act like getting my whooper is so beneath them. Last time I checked Burger King wasn't actively recruiting teenage kids at the arcade, so you must have come looking for this job. So when i pull up to hand you my money reach your hand out and take it. If I have to put my hand through the window to hand it to you one more time I'm going to reach a little farther and grab that huge gold earring out of your lobe. Meet me half way on this burger wench.

7. Running late. I get it from my dad. WE must be on time, all the time. If it even appears like we might be getting close to the point where theres a possibility we might leave the house a moment late, I'm pissed! I'm breaking a sweat like whatever function we are heading off to will be swallowed up by a huge black hole before we get there. Come on I can't miss the black hole!

6. My mother. She ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS goes places without her glasses and then forces me to read everything on the Menu to her because she can't see it. Or she can't read the debit card machine, or the product description, or her receipt, or KILL ME PLEASE!

5. People who say things like "she's a Be-Och!" or "For shizzle" Look suck it up and say BITCH, you meant BITCH so say it. Otherwise you are acting like a BE-Och!

4.Push sales clerks. If I've said I'm just looking please go away. I worked in retail I understand you are just doing your job. But please go away. I am far more likely to leave a store because you wont leave me alone then I am to leave the store because I can't find the white blouse. Trust me, if I need you I will ask for your help. I just can't stand those shadow clerks who wont go away. I don't need help, I'm not going to steal, and I don't think you're cute. go away.

3. Taco Bell's cheapness. Come on give me some cheese already you jerks!

2. People who walk into the bathroom and use the first stall to do #2. Go down to the last one or one on the end. Why poop right next to the door.

My number 1 pet peeve is

1. People who use the stall right next to me in an EMPTY bathroom. It's just me you and 10 stalls and you pick the one RIGHT NEXT TO ME? Why? No really why? Is it a security issue do you feel more comfortable peeing literally 8 inches from me. Because I don't. I don't like having someone sitting 8 inches away from me pushing out a turd while I'm trying to pee. Skip a stall, it's just you me and 10 stalls. Please don't go right next to me, that's gross.


Tiaras and Tantrums said...

#10 - LOVE it - I hate it at my childrens schools - why do I have to make nice with all the moms WHO clearly would NEVER speak with me in the real world!!!!!!!!

Liz said...

your #1 made me laugh - that's right up there while trying to hold conversations between stalls....yech

Mama Kat said...

I am SO the person who says Be-Otch. I feel a little cleaner. I also say freak in place of fuck. I don't want to lose the christians ok!?! Plus I don't say fuck in real life...only in my head. I think the kids did that to me.

...I'm always cussing them out in my head.