Monday, April 20, 2009

Here a pica there a pica

Signs I know i need MORE time off from my J.O.B.

  1. I can accurately draw boxes on my quark page that are just the right size for my obits.
  2. I find myself measuring things in pics.
  3. I answer my cell phone "Obit desk Amy speaking."
  4. I know most of my "regulars" who place memoriam and am often asked for by name.
  5. I remember obits we ran last month when no one else can remember the ones we ran yesterday.
  6. I find myself wondering odd things like "wonder if George would give me a tour of their crematorium?"
  7. I know 98% of the funeral directors in York but have only even seen roughly 10%.
  8. I find my self unconsciously referring and writing about everything in the past tense.
  9. I don't bat an eye when someone mentions their granddogs in an obit.
  10. I haven't snickered in almost a year at "floated peacefully to meet his almighty father on the wings of white doves, soaring over the river Jordan to the Pearly gates of heaven and eternal salvation." That's not even a joke. We've run this stuff.

Some lady yelled at me today. YELLED. at . me. For the record. It wasn't my fault. She. Didn't seem to care. First she wouldn't even tell me what was wrong, she said she wanted to talk to someone over me because I'm just an Obit Clerk. Ouch. Ok. As she told me how horrible a person I was, I couldn't help but wonder to myself, if her deceased mother, who she was placing the memoriam ad for, was pleased with her daughter at that moment. Often times when they are throwing a fit and being, for lack of a better word, DICKS. I often want to stop them and say "Ahh your (fill in recently deceased person relationship here) must be so proud that you are acting this way in their memory. Good job!" I swear. My dream would be to find out where those kind of people work and go scream at then unnecessarily. I don't understand why people have that "the customer is always right" mentality that they can say, do and act anyway they feel like because I CAN'T say anything back to them. Why not? I've often times had to repeat Over. and Over. and Over in my head DO NOT HANG UP ON THIS PERSON! What i really want to do is say, well thanks for the interest but we don't want your money. Go publish it in another newspaper. Jerks.


Cathy said...

Your list was too funny. Maybe you do alittle time off. How was the birthday week? Perhaps the woman on the phone was a hyper sensitive or is just a man person. Who knows. Just pray a prayer of thanks you aren't related or work together and then add in there for God to soften her already hardened to concrete heart.

Diane said...

Your list cracked me up. Especially the 'past tense' part. Perks of the job, eh?

Funny work story... once, I was talking to a client on the phone. He had the same name as my ex (who I was still married to at the time). When getting ready to hang up, I said, "Bye, I love you." There was complete silence... then I started "ummmmm-ing" and he burst out laughing and said, "Yeah... I love you, too...?" He never let me forget it :)

The Rambler said...

Only ONE time did some Ahole on the phone make me pretend I couldn't hear them. (hello...hello, sir, I can't hear you....hello.)

I hung up.

They called back.

I mock said..."OMG, was that your phone, I couldn't hear you?"

evil chuckle. He asked for it.