Sunday, October 19, 2008

Not so Ittys bittys

I might have or not mentioned the slight spider infestation I’m experiencing. Well I have photo documentation of that wonderful thing right here. Those black spots, yup SPIDERS. You might be alarmed to know the other night upon returning home from a long day at of work 25 spiders confronted me on my porch. Yes my friends I said 25! My immediate response se was to run into my apartment slam the door lock it and call my friend. See somehow word spread amongst the arachnid network that my porch was the place to be; a safe haven for 8-legged insects. Please let me make this completely clear, it IS NOT NOR HAS IT EVER BEEN A SAFE HAVEN for spiders. I thought I had an unspoken agreement between the original 3 spiders that lived there all summer and myself. You don’t bug me or build your webs where I walk and I wont knock them down and stomp on you. I provided them with a nice porch and railing to build their spidery masterpieces and they kept the bug population in check. Win win right? Yes and no. It worked well until 2 new spiders showed up and messed it all up. They decided to build in front of my door, which was not allowed. In a drunken rage I took my outside broom and knocked down all the webs and stepped on one of the spiders. I also believe I muttered the words “tell your friends”. That is roughly the same time the REST showed up. Maybe they called in re-enforcements, maybe they brought in the big guns to try and strong arm me. I was concerned. Why lie, I was afraid! I was very afraid. Over night I went from 5 spiders to 25 spiders. I started to fear walking up my steps to my door. I didn’t know what (or how many) would be waiting for me up there. I started having trouble sleeping. I blame myself. I’ve seen so many low budget horror movies I started to believe that they might actual toil all night and cocoon me in my apartment and then feed off me all winter. I’m a big girl they could feed on me until spring. I checked around my door and I always checked my jacket and hair when I came inside. Well I noticed last night (when I came crawling home from the bar) that the spiders weren’t around. Humm? Interesting then I passed out. Today when I left for work I noticed the weds around the light were falling apart and there were no spiders to be found. It looked like a spider ghost town of abandoned webs. I was wondering when the weather would get cold enough to send them wherever they go for winter. I’m fine with them leaving. I’m not sure what spiders do in the winter. Do they cocoon themselves and hibernate? Do they die? Do they pack up and snow bird it down to Florida? I don’t care what they do or where they went, as long it wasn’t into my APARTMENT. Now I’m worried about that. I don’t have nearly enough place settings for 25-house guest. Hopefully they don’t take to long getting ready in the morning. Geez.

1 comment:

Sometimes Sophia said...

I HATE spiders!!! My son told me about spiders that crawl in your ear and lay eggs, which, when hatched, eat your brains. I've been having nightmares ever since. Feel better? Go buy stock in a company that manufactures spider killer spray.

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