And it wasn’t even during prime time. I couldn’t believe my ears. A whole hour devoted to what? Did she really just say that? 15 feet? WOW. Martha Stewart had me flabbergasted (that word isn’t used nearly enough) FLABBERGASTED. Now I’m not your typical demographic target audience for the MS show, or maybe I am. Mid twenties, likes to cook and decorate, oh god I’m the target audience. Geez Martha aim higher. I’m more the Dog the bounty hunter’s target audience. Wait maybe I need to aim higher. Anywho. Back to MS. First I don’t typically watch her show. That’s not a lie. Not like when I say I don’t typically eat a whole bag of chips and half a cake. That’s a lie. I typically do that. I don’t mind the MS show; I just get a little tired of her demeanor and her high flatulent attitude. That’s great Martha; I’m thrilled for you and your beehives. I’m glad you have 5 houses. Wow really you raise your own sheep and make yarn out of their wool to cloth children in third world countries all in a weekend, while painting a house and refinishing the barn. WOW. BUSY. Way to multitask. Since my new(ish) TV (to me) didn’t come with a remote I’m forced to watch whatever is on channel 8 (ABC?). By forced I mean I’m way to lazy to get up and flip through the channels while standing in front of the TV. Plus I don’t have cable so it’s safe to say there’s snow on all but 4 channels. Sorry. I’ll try and stay focused and finish the story. Out walks Martha Stewart with a 15-foot hot dog. Yes ladies and gentleman you heard right a 15-foot hot dog and it looked amazing. I thought at that moment I had possible died and gone to hot dog lover’s heaven. I hope if there is a heaven there are 15-foot hot dogs there. That would be fantastical. So out she comes and out of her mouth comes, “for those of you who say length doesn’t matter, I disagree at least when it comes to wieners” I almost chocked on the air. Maybe I should tune in more often, this must be the new XXX rated Martha Stewart show. Watch out, Martha is frisky, and I’m not talking about the cat food. (wink wink). The next hour was delightful. I saw a ton of different concoctions of hot dog toppings. One even had mac and cheese on top of it. Now that’s starchy! I started planning my trip to New York City so I can eat my body weight in hot dogs. Theres roughly 15 places I want to go. I also found myself wondering if I would be able to eat all 15 feet of that huge hot dog. I think I could (look of shame). I think I could. Who doesn’t love hot dogs? I mean all that great yummy goodness. Thank god for hot dogs. I could eat them all the time. I’ve done that. My diet in college consisted of hot dogs, fries and BBQ sauce. Maybe you see my need to lose weight. I hit up Ted’s in Buffalo ever time I’m there for some yummy hot dog tastiness. I love hot dogs. I love them Plain, with mustard, sauerkraut, relish, cheese, pickles, and KETCHUP. I know Ketchup on hot dogs if you aren’t a child is shunned by hot dog enthuses all over America, but the one thing I might love more then hot dogs, sex, chocolate, and money is KETCHUP. But that’s a whole other blog. Needless to say after 45 minutes of drooling all over myself I had to change the channel, I was craving hot dogs like it was my job. I’m still salivating just thinking about all that meaty (?) greatness. Below enjoy a photo of my wonderful Rocky dog from the Rockies game in April. It was Yumtastical.
Yummy! foot long with mustard, ketchup, sauerkraut and relish. Yum yum yummy!