Wednesday, July 1, 2009

This week's excuse

Dear Mama Kat and readers,

Please excuse Amy McMean from this weeks writing assignment. She will not be in class on the due date and we did not fill out the appropriate excuse forms in advance. She understands there are consequences for her actions and it's her job to make up any and all missed assignments during her absence. She will not be in school that day due to the fact she has been GRANTED a 3 day leave of absence from work. Some might refer to this as a mini-vacation, AMEN days, 3 day weekend, or GODS GRACE. She refers to this as her, "Inflict bodily harm to customer PREVENTION DAYS".

She will be unable to access the Internet to properly turn in her assignment. As during these "prevention days" she will be transported to a place where current technology doesn't exist (her apartment).

Had she done her assignment here were the choices
The Prompts:

1.) Mother's guilt...tell us what happened.
(inspired by Lolli)
2.) Write five "Incredibly Short Books". Some examples:
"Chemical Contraception Choices for Catholic Couples"
"Teenage U.S. Presidents"
"The Book of Female Popes"
"The 2008 Book of General Motors Profits"
Dan says, "The point is that the book is of zero size since the title is a contradiction with reality."
(inspired by Dan)
3.) I'll be happy when ________________.
(inspired by Tracy P.)
4.) Relay an interesting conversation you recently had with someone that may or may not involve creating a Loch Ness Monster Theme Park.
(inspired by Jen)
5.) Show us something you made!
(inspired by Janis)

#1 is out. She's not a parent. and her mother has no guilt.
#3 She will be happy when she stop letting herself be brought down by all the things other people "think" she should have, be, do, look like, and want. And only worry about what she WANT.
#4 She had an interesting conversation with a local Funeral director about going on a tour of the crematorium. Which she's super excited for. It DID NOT involve NESSY at ALL.
#5 She could show you pictures of the new scrapbook she's making for Preggers in Buffalo, but it's not started yet.

So had she done the assignment she would have chosen

With titles such as~
  • Effective and Exceptional Public Speaking Skills by George W. Bush
  • Snow removal in Mexico
  • Iran: A fair and just society
  • Katrina: The good parts
  • Why we love the WNBA
Thank you for understanding. Ms. McMean has agreed to try harder nice time to see that all permission slips are filed and assignments gathered and turned in prior to her next "prevention day".
Thank you,
Her guardian.


Cathy said...

You are still a mess and I love you for it! All the titles are wonderful.

Dan said...

Dear Guardian,

We here at Hard Knock U find the unexcused absence from school this week of Ms. McMean unforgivable. We have therefore sentenced her to twenty extra writing assignments due no later than Tuesday. She is also to lash herself with a wet noodle each morning for the next week.


I. M. A. Tyrant
Dean of Students
Hard Knock U