Monday, June 15, 2009

What's left

this is what I have left from my sleep over with the twin 8-year old monster.
Thing 1 left the top one and thing 2 left the bottom one.

Now before you start ohhing and ahhing and thinking what SWEET, WONDERFUL, ANGELIC children they MUST be. NO. They are not. oh yeah sure this is nice. I'm not sure why my arms are so deformed. Strange. These girls don't know it (or do they) but my arms are one of the two body parts I'm self conscious about (those and my legs). interesting that those would be the body parts that look deformed when they draw me. Wow I'm going to need some ice cream to deal with that revaluation. WOW. Thanks girls. Anywho. this is what I have left as I've torn out most of my hair.

I LOVE them because I have too. I LIKE them because i choose to, but every time they leave my house i think maybe I don't like them so much anymore. They are. a. pain. Not a little pain. a HUGE pain.

Thing 2 decided that during lunch (at the pizza buffet of all places) she was going to announce that my ARMS (DAMN IT) are fat. And so are my LEGS (DAMN IT SQUARED), and then she added she noticed they jiggle. I've never TRULY wanted to punch an 8-year old in the face. But I did (want to) that day. I thought about it, glanced around the pizza place and wondered if anyone (all 5 people) would notice. I'm not a parent. I don't know what to say. I tried to channel my bloggy parent friends. I heard (in my head) different voices. Talk to her about why this is wrong. Tell her how this made you feel. PUNCH HER IN THE FACE. My next feeling was to say something mean and hateful to her. I opted to deal with it a different way. I think it's important (on some level) to mention Thing 1 (aka my favorite) tried to defend her sister by saying "she didn't really mean it Amy she's joking". But thing 2 (the anti Christ) stopped her with "No. I meant it." AHHHHH. PUNCH HER IN THE FACE! So i took a DEEP breath looked Thing 2 dead in her face, gave her the meanest look i could muster (which wasn't hard) and said, "That really hurts my feelings and makes me mad that you would say something like that to me. I don't say mean things like that to you and that upsets me. When you do that it makes me not want to invite you over anymore." and Thing 2 cried. JACKPOT! Thing 1 said "Oh don't cry thing 2". to which i responded "I don't know why you're crying I'm the one who had their feelings hurt. now eat your pizza." and went about eating my pizza.

Even after all that. They stayed with me all day long. Played in the pool. Had a blast. when i trade them off to their Dad at 5:30 I got hugs and I love yous. right before he shut the truck door Thing 2 leans up from behind the seat and says "Bye Amy! Good luck getting a better life!"

Punch her in the face!!! what was that about?!


ClassyComplainer said...

more tornadoes.... more hail... more END OF THE WORLD!! I think Mother Nature needs some life drops!

Diane said...

Are you sure you're not a mom? You handled that PERFECTLY (even the wanting to punch her in the face ;)

Anonymous said...

omg, you should be writing books.I find your blogs halarious! Thanks for the chuckle I needed tonight! lol! Have I ever told you that I love the name of your blog, too?

Rachel said...

"Good luck getting a better life?"!!! You should have replied with "Good luck with getting your boobs. Hope they don't come until you are 30." Is that too mean?

Cathy said...

So you had a demon spawn stay over. Hmmm, know that feeling. Girls are just mean. They say it and then they say "I didn't mean to be mean". Yeah. Right. I think you said the right thing. Just enough guilt to make her cry.