Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The ranger is after me!!!!!!

im off thursday, more funlough junk, so I'm not going to be posting on Mama Kats page but here is my writing assignment!

Here is the women and below are the prompts. If you don't know what to do....I don't know what to say. Go check out the women and get a clue.
The Prompts:
1.) Write a limerick.
2.) Normal is...
3.) Describe a memorable camping experience.
4.) What's the best thing that has happened this week?
5.) Did you have a childhood hideout? Where? Describe it.
6.) Words that hurt me.

My parents belong to Outdoor World, they've changed the name it's something like long piny trails now. I don't know. I totally made that up. the name, not that fact that they changed the name. so they have campgrounds all over the East coast. When we went to Disney we stayed at one. you could bring your own tents or campers or rent a camper. It's that kind of place. I love those places. WE always stayed at Lake and Shore in New Jersey when i was a kid. There is a campground near my home only about 15 minutes away. when we were young we would go there with my grandmother. Well when we (me and big brother) got older we were able to use the membership and put our camper on the site and stay. so we did. Why not? BECAUSE IT WAS A HUGE MISTAKE that's why. I don't know what the hell my parents were thinking and we they ok'd that plan.

So big brother, me and our friend Deacon set up camp down by the creek. Many nights of drunkin (yes underage drunkin fun) fun were spent down by the creek. We were loud, we were young, and we were drunk. Here is where it's important to say that while some kids are well behaved and angels (me) some are not (big brother). One night after a large dinner of steaks and whiskey, Deacon decided to vomit all over the camper door area. that was fun. he proceeded to pass out as did I. big brother being the veteran drinker among our group got bored sitting around by himself and took off on an ADVENTURE.

First stop the pool, where he had to hurdle the fence to get in. After going for a leisurely dip (please note this information is all based on what BB could REMEMBER and what the ranger would later tell the police) he decided to help do some redecorating and tossed a large portion of the lounge chairs into the pool. That must have worked up an appetite in our young friend because he proceeded to break into the snake bar. By break i mean broke out the windows and crawled through to find some yummy ice cream treats. while bleeding ALL over the place. Way to leave DNA evidence behind. nice job. At some point he got spooked. he could never really say what scared him, mainly because he couldn't remember and off he went, running his little ice cream and whiskey filled heart out. right into the fence. After scaling the fence AGAIN he ran back to the camper taking a long confusing route,as to throw off the ranger (or cause he was wasted, who knows). At some point he sprained his ankle REALLY bad. This is what i woke up to.
BB~ "He's after me! He's after me!"
Me~ (from a dead sleep) shut up! I'm sleeping. who's after you?
BB~ The ranger! AHH MY ARM!!
Me~ (sitting up) what are you talking....WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING?
BB~ i don't know.
Me~ where have you been?
BB~ the pool...i think.
Me~how did you cut yourself? (you could see down inside his arm)
BB~ i broke into the snack bar, ahh man i really messed that shit up. I'm going to need stitches.
DEACON~ ahhh what ahhh huh......(back asleep)
BB~ I need you to hold it together?
Me~ (CRYING HYSTERICALLY) what hold what?
BB~ my skin. I'm going to try and tape it up to stop the bleeding, ahh it hurts so bad.
Me~ NO! I'm not doing it. Oh my god we are going to be in so much trouble 9still crying)
BB~ Shut up! hold the skin together.
Me~ 9holding the skin together) I hate you! I hate you! why couldn't you just stay here. Oh my god, what are we going to do.
BB~ the ranger hasn't come yet, he might not have seen me. What am I saying he had to have seen me. I'm so stupid. I think i lost him.
Me~ (taped up his arm and he climbs into bed, I'm still crying) what are we going to do.
BB~ Maybe they wont know it was me.

i left the next morning to come home for tennis practice and Deacon snuck BB out in the trunk of his car. We told my parents he slipped in Deacons puke and sliced his arm on the pole outside the door 9yeah I said we were stupid). we stayed away from the campground for a day or two and hoped it would calm down. It didn't. they put 2 and 2 together and realized it was us. The sprained ankle, cut arm and loud noise gave him away. My parents had to pay some fines and replace everything he broke, and BB was banned from Outdoor World. Banned from a campground. BANNED! LOL. what a dumb ass. and that my friends is my fondest camping memory.



Cathy said...

I laughed so hard at this. I had a similar camping trip only I was the only one sober and it involved my two cousins shooting each other with bb guns playing war and me slicing my foot open and getting 15stitches. My dad ended up taking everyone to the emergency room and was mad he forgot our names and how old we were. O, the good times. I tell my kids I was a typical kid but I leave alot of details and stories out of conversations. Have a good time off. And your boss, She is heading straight "south" for being a witch about her mom.

Wifey Dessert said...

oh my!! that is definately a memorable camping trip.. i dont have any near that dramatic haha..