A.C. (even)MOORE!

So over the last 2 to 3 months I have become a bit of an AC Moore FANATIC! I love that places. Trust me. If i was popping a kid out anytime soon AC Moore would more then likely top the list of possible names. Come on that places is so much fun. I love the selection of baking/candy making/ awesome shit they have. It has proven very handy. I REALLY wanted to take the cupcake decorating class and I want to buy those awesome designed mats for rolling out fondant on that leaves the really cool designs, any I don't even like fondant. But they look so freaking cool! Or the GINORMOUS cupcake pan, or the little cupcake pans, those are cool.

And all the scrap booking paper, and stickers, and shit. It's great. FYI~ Scrapjazz is a mega scrap booking website store. I googled it. :)

I love the holiday decorations. Ahh I yearn to be a domestic diva!

So while at AC Moore today I learned of something new they are doing. the AC Moore REWARDS CARD! Yes my dear friends. Now I can earn points to get coupons off! The girl said it's like a bonus card for the grocery store only cooler. I added that last part. AHHH where was this card last month when i was buying all the stuff for Preggers scrapbook? Where was this card when I bought all the icing for my cookies? I can tell you were said card is now. In my wallet! So far I've earned 1 point as I only spent a buck on ribbon for Preggers favors.

Oh how exciting!

I ordered 2 books from Amazon over the weekend. I'm so tired of the overpriced junk at Borders. I've been checking for the books i want but they never have them so I opted to give Amazon a go. I've never ordered anything from there but it was pretty easy. I'm not the most tech savvy person so ordering things online ALWAYS makes me nervous. They should be here by Friday. I want them NOW! I'm one of the most impatient people I know. Sometimes I can't even wait for the web site to load before i want to throw the computer across the room. HUm? Maybe it's more of a rage issue.

I've been a fan of Augusten Burroughs since I read Running with Scissors. I've read, Sellevision, Dry, Possible Side Effects and now A Wolf at the Dinner Table. (that's the one I' waiting for. I also ordered a book by Peter Hamill. A Drinking Life. It's his memoir. I'm interested to learn more about the man who penned Forever, Snow in August, and North River, all books I enjoyed. So I'll let you know how that goes. I almost bought, the God Delusion but I'm holding off for a moment on that one.

Oh hail

So I commented on Diane's blog earlier about how nice the sunny weather was today. I went for a walk today before starting my normal SUNDAY actives. Normally I get up, buy a paper, read the paper front to back while watching meet the press of Fox sports. With 2 channels my options are very limited. Today i went for a walk around the fair grounds. I was warm and you could smell the grass. and the mud. It rained yesterday so it was very earthy smelling outside. Please I'm not a tree hugger but it just smelled like the beginning of something. Spring maybe? Maybe not. after I got to work today we had a brief. VERY brief. Weather episode. I could hear patter on the roof and then loud banging. I jumped up and rushed towards the GLASS doors, because, well isn't that what you do during fierce storms. rush towards all things glass. It was hailing. A LOT. then it picked up so bad i couldn't even see across the street. To bad for Gander Mountain. they had a tent outside for their sales, no merchandise yet thankfully but the tent is a goner. IT was disturbing. Sometimes we forget the power of mother nature. the mail. boxes across the street are knocked over and below are some pictures of the hail.

the white stuff in the corner of the parking lot. HAIL


Funnest thing i saw today was the hail pouring out of the drain spout. That's all HAIL.

I sure hope my plastic Saturn is ok.

disappointment continues

I disappointment myself on a daily bases. Nothing huge...not normally. But everyday I do something that is shortly there after followed by "why did i do that", I'm so disappointed. Sometimes it's eating ice cream when i just really don't need it. Or sleeping in instead of going tot he gym. Sometimes it's man related. many times it's that one, but not today. Today i forget to bring my photo card to Deaksters house so i could up load the photos I've been planing to upload for WEEKS! I even reminded myself before i left home, still. I forgot. So upsetting. So yet again no pictures.

Preggers, Jules and I went to dinner last night for Preggers birthday. She's the big 25. The last birthday without a kid for the rest of her life. Seems so strange to say it like that. 10 more weeks until baby preggers comes kicking and screaming into this mixed up world. Preggers is slightly concerned. If by slightly I mean VERY. She'll be ok. I can only assume it's the "first time parent angst".

I let my nephew win at connect four today. He called me out on it. WOW. My defense was that I'm a seasoned connect four player and he isn't. It would be like MJ dunking on some kindergartners. Just not fair. But he asked me to not let him win. So I tried to explain the concept so he would look at the whole picture and not the imitate move. But let's be honest I could have dominated that connect four game. let's be honest. candy from a baby.

Amy needs......................

First and foremost. Swing by Sam's and check out her 100th post and leave her some love! She's working towards 50 comments!

I'm stealing this from a few different people. This is what you get instead of a emotional and thought provoking post today. Not that I'm usually emotional and thought provoking. But If i posted a real blog about how I was feeling right now it would be littered with F bombs and not such pleasant things. so instead i FINALLY did the "Amy needs" in google search. That google, they know every thing!

ENJOY

1. Amy needs some help drinking apparently. this job is helping very much so
2. Amy needs......a LOT. true da
3. Amy needs help. right now, yes that would be fantastic as I'm the only person at work.
4. Amy needs to let Ben go! I did 4 years ago. Weird. My ex was Ben. I clicked this is was not referring to ME! Thank goodness.
5. Amy needs her prince. That would be handsome
6. Amy needs a break. A pee break for starters
7. Amy needs employment-Babysitter for hire! I wouldn't hire me
8. Amy needs a cocktail before facing police. ??? Good idea? I don't see why not. I've always wanted to be on cops.
9. Amy needs a dentist picture. I beg to differ Google.
10. Amy needs a wash. I showered a few hours ago thank you
11. Amy needs rehab. Not yet.
12. Amy needs prayer. Because she's LIVIN on a prayer.
13. Amy needs to know. What? Oh gosh is it bad? good? I need to know.
14. Amy needs your support. Amy is awfully NEEDY
15. Amy needs to be fired. So true
16. Amy needs a seat. I have a seat thank you.

Now for what Amy likes

• Amy likes pictures. Who doesn't
• Amy likes tweezerman tweezers. Uhm, Amy hates tweezers period.
• Sometimes Amy likes to pretend she's a rock star. Hells Yeah MAN!
• Amy likes to Scrapjazz. That doesn't sound fun
• Amy likes seals. Not so much
• Amy likes to play with feet but it's funny. No she does not and no it is not

I Love you man

How nice it was to have 2 whole days off. Very refreshing. Friday I hit up the YMCA and worked out in the morning. I feel so much better when i go to the gym. It's the going part i have to step up. I never want to get up in the morning. But I'm working on changing that. After I got home and showered Preggers came down and we spent a relaxing afternoon shopping and hanging out.

• First we went to Tj Max and Ross's where Preggers picked up some cheap preggers clothes for the spring and pending warm weather. Oh and a cute Ralph Lauren bag to use for a diaper bag. Stylish and for only $30.
• Next stop Rita's Italian Ice, it was after all free ice day! Love the first day of spring. Unfortunately as is the curse of Preggers by the time we made it to the front of the line they were all out of Mint chocolate chip, which was what she REALLY wanted. She settled for Orange cream and i noshed on some Coconut cream. YUMMY. Coconut reminds me of summer and sun tan lotion.
• Our next stop was Old Navy to stock up on flip flops, since the demise of my favorite pair :( and more preggo clothes for Preggers.
• To round out our exciting first day of spring we went to the movies where i shelled out $9.50 to get it and $8 for a small soda and a box or Resses Pieces. Ridicules! We saw, I Love You Man, which was really funny. I wasn't to sure since I don't really like that one guy. the one who played the whiny cry baby in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The whole time i was watching FSM i kept going, Ahh Christ Man MAN UP ALREADY! But he cracked me in this movie. I liked me.

So there's my Friday in a nutshell. I ended the evening by Watching Friday Night Lights! I heart FNL. I know i promised picture of the apron, but I forgot my photo card yesterday so I couldn't upload them. I will try harder this week. SORRY. I also have pictures of the M&M's i ordered with Preggers photo on them and my food from AFM. My frezzer is running over! I love it!

Fascinated/obsession...it's a thin line

So this weeks assignments were posted and me being the great student I am waited until 7:15 a.m. on the due date to even start it. I have an excuse, my dog ate my computer and I've been following him around with one of those poop catchers they give you at the doctors office waiting for him to process it. LOL process it like a computer processes things. I'm so funny. (sorry 3 days of morning shifts is getting to me). So here goes.

5.) What are you currently fascinated with?

Ahh thank you for asking funny prompt man. What am i fascinated with....hum.... currently I'm fascinated with The Biggest Loser. I've watched ever season of The Biggest Loser. I'm talking about back in the day when they started and had those little mini-biggest loser shows with families and what not. Yeah. That long. Well after last season and that evil VICKI lady I thought I might never watch it again. It was more about game play and winning then losing weight. A bit discouraging. But i figured I'd give TBL one more shot. I'm thrilled i did. After watching Tuesday's episode, and crying my eyes out, I'm relieved to see how great the people really are this season. They aren't stabbing each other in the back, they aren't voting strictly on alliances they have. They are some real stand up people. I think this is also the first time in a long time that everyone truly gets along. You don't see flare ups between teams, you don't see yelling matches, and name calling. It's so refreshing. I wish them all luck.

And p.s. How freaking great of a kid is Mike. come on. His parents should be over the moon proud. When he won the free groceries for a year he opted to give it to Aubrey who has 6 kids at home. Because that was the right thing to do. WOW. REFRESHING.



Sidenote- Look what I found at the grocery store. I'm sorry but popcorn in pudding flavor. not cool. They had a blue one, it looked like that clay you played with in elementary art class. GROSS!. Natural and Artificially flavored. YUMMY

Pet my peeve

Want to play stop over at Mama Loco and see what pisses everyone else off.

As for me~

• The people at Subway. I don't get anything on my sub but meat, cheese mayo and pickles. So when i say "and a bunch of pickles" don't try ot charge me for extra Veggies. It's all I'm getting on my damn sub. That's it!
• squeaky shoes. I just got new shoes and they make that annoying squeaking noise on the floor here at work.
  
• speaking of shoes one is tighter then the other. I dislike that, it always happens you try them on and they are great and then BAMN! one feels different when you wear them again.
• When a customer callas and says they have a question and i ask ok what can i help you with and they say one word answers like "obits"....uhm ok, what about them? I'm not a mind reader!
  

Spill over

Here are two things that don't fit anywhere else in my postings. I'm not going to do a whole BLOG about them just wanted to mention while i take a much needed breather here at work.

1. Soup in Hand. I've talked about this before. The idea of drinking soup that contains solid objects throws me off. Sorta like the netty pot did. You're taught from a VERY young age (in the case of the netty pot) not to breath in when you are under water. Much the same is true with soup in hand. you aren't "supposed" to drink things from a cup that have chunky things in them. none the less I do. Today was tomato soup day from a can. Mainly because it required no thought on my part while getting ready today at 6 a.m.
It was tasty and i drank it from a straw. I'm clumsy and after taking one swig i had a spot on my sleeve so I opted for a straw to enjoy the rest.

2. Happy St. Patrick's Day. I pulled on my St. Patty's Day shirt today before i realized maybe it wasn't "work appropriate". I chuckled and decided i didn't really care. It's one day. So off to work i went to greet the public in this.Nothing screams work appropriate like a classified ad on your shirt. At least it does not say Kiss my ass, I rock!

A play on words

Don't forget to check out my earlier post today! But here is something that might make you chuckle on this gloomy Monday morning.

Here are the winners of this year's Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition:

1. Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.



The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a list.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Baby stuff check, invites check, sense of humor......hum?

I haven't posted in a few days. Sorry. I've just been so busy here at work but I have a few minutes so let regale you with the happenings of my life.

I got together with Jules to plan Preggers baby shower. Okay. Here's the deal with this whole thing. I love planning parties. I love doing parties. I just don't operate the same way jules does. My thought was we would each take different tasks and work on them and put everything together. Jules wants to do it all TOGETHER. pick the games together. buy the stuff together. do the invitations together. cook together. EVERYTHING TOGETHER. This is not how I operate. but I'm making the best of it. She came over Saturday and we picked games. Went to target bought the things we needed for said games. Talked about food, and have now picked a time and date. I think we did a lot. Please note party isn't till MAY 3. almost 2 months minus a few days.

Jules doesn't really offer much in the form of opinions. she's the girl who always checks with everyone else before ordering. The one who gets what you get because it's easier then picking something herself. Yeah. fun. So trying to get input from her is like asking my 5 year old nephew to explain relativity. So you have to know how to work it. I let her "think" it's her idea. For the baby memory game, which i DIDN'T want to play but I let Jules have that, I would see something and say "huh whats this" and then let her look at and say something like "think we should use this" which i would answer "sure". Or i would see what she liked and just agree. I'm trying here people. I'm trying. she did have an awesome idea for the prizes. Her sister is going to supply us with stuff form The Body Shop and all we have to do is include her card in the bag. Sounds good to me.

It has been interesting to say the least. When I'm throwing a party I just see it in my head and make it happen. Jules wants detailed lists. I'm cracking jokes, laughing and having a good time and she's all BUSINESS. She wants everything done and ready to go and I'm going "calm down we have over a month". Needless to say I'll be getting the plates and decorations. I don't need any help in that area. I might pick some more stuff up for the games because they seem a tad lame right now.

P.S.
MY APRON CAME!!!!!!! I will try and post good pictures of it later this week. It's super cute!

Man Down, Man Down!!!

You know what isn't cool to come home to? The smell of something melting. Yeah. Not cool. I walked into my apartment last night and it hit me like an ice ball in the winter. BAMN! What is that smell. I walked over to the stove and touched it. Cold. Walked into my room and checked the heater. Cold. What could it be?? Then i remembered i kicked my flip flops of in the kitchen Saturday night. Oh no. I turned that heater on before i left for work. AHHHH! Here is what i found. My favorite flip flops

It was just one of them. that's what makes it worse. I have one wearable flip flop from my favorite pair. I'm so sad. They were so comfy! Tear! The strap was actually scorched as well. Then i started to think, maybe they knew. Knew I was out shoe shopping while it was at home melting away on the heater. I'm sorry my friend. I'm sorry. But i didn't even buy flip flops i bought new black shoes for work. Steve Madden wedges(ish).

Side note~ It would make a great flip flop for an elf with it's ridicules curve in it now.

If you like shoes swing by Cupcakes and check out of quest to wear 100 different pairs of shoes for the next 100 days. Hey cupcake got any lonely flip flops that match my burnt one?

My names not Mary

*Caution this blog borders on the TMI topic of menstruation* You have been warned.

Please refer to the above comment before preceding. Just checking.

Okay. Now I'm FAR from normal, or so I've been told over the years, but I'm a tad annoyed with my present situation. Here's the deal. I have been waiting for that pushy, cramp my style, bloat me with water and all things salt Aunt Flo to make her monthly trip to my home, but I think that bitch blew me off. Excuse me. It's polite to call and reschedule, or oh I don't know SHOW up on time. I can't stand tardiness. Now It would be one thing if there was even the slightest reason she might not be coming...but there isn't. Short of Immaculate conception this oven isn't cooking up anything. And trust me there is NO way god would choose me to be the next virgin Mary. I mean hello I don't necessarily fit the criteria unless he thought them up late one night drunk in a bar.
Criteria for baring the Christ child.

• Swears like a trucker.
• Uses my name in vane almost hourly
• kicks canes out from under the elderly
• doubts I'm really~ I'll show the dumb b*tch
• Drinks, and not at communion.

Yeah if those are the guidelines for being the next virgin Mary then ok. I can see why he would pick me. but last time i checked he was more into, devout belief, purity, virginity, and girls named Mary. And my name is not Mary. So back off pal.

So anywho, I wish Flo would just hurry up and get here and be gone. This will throw off every month from now on. She's such a selfish visitor. and when she comes she always expects fruit drinks and plush pillows to lounge around on. Well ya know Aunt Flo, get a fucking job. I don't think you've filed taxes in the last 2 million years. You just hop from women to women imposing yourself on them until your done. In the words of the now Meth addicted Stephanie Tanner "How Rude"

Ya know what grinds my gears?

Thanks Mama Loco! I was wondering what to post today. Nothing much going on here at work. Nothing much going on at home. So what do i post about? Well Thanks to Melissa over at Mama Loco I have something to post about. She is doing Pet Peeves today. So here goes.

My pet peeves in no particular order.

• I hate unhappy cashiers, fast food workers, bus drivers, obit clerks (that's me) who take their frustration for the job out on me. I didn't tell you to work at Burger King. If you don't like it find something else to do. But don't give me an attitude when I order a shake and some fries.
• I don't understand people who come into an empty place and must sit at the table right next to you. 50 open tables and you insist on sitting right on top of me. why? Or when this happens in the bathroom. 5 empty stalls and you pick the one RIGHT next to me. Must you pee literally 12 inches away from me. That's weird.
• I have a crazy ketchup addiction. Trust me it's over the top. I hate those red ketchup bottles because they fake you out. It's red, but it's empty and you don't know it until you pick it up and then BAMN no ketchup for your tasty fries.
• People who yield the right of way and then get mad at you because you don't go. Um you have the RIGHT OF WAY. Please go. this is what causes accidents. COME ON.
• People who get loud and rude and everyone caters to them so as to not cause a scene. Hello scene already caused, tell them to shove it up their butt. I would rather tell them thanks but no thanks i don't want your business.
• And finally a pet peeve of mine is people who go number 2 in the first stall right inside the bathroom. Please. I don't want to walk into your stink. Use the stalls farther from the door.

Huff and puff and go blow it out your ass

If you read one of my two posts from yesterday you will understand what I'm about to talk about. If you didn't SHAME on YOU! But here you can check it out.

Alright now I got here so she must not be to mad I'm plotting her demise. Or maybe she is just unaware. Anywho. I got here and still couldn't access the fax machine from my computer and the lone monitor from the computer they have slowly been taking away was still sitting here. it was 12:30 p.m. I knew the IT guy had read the damn email by now. Whats going on.

Finally around 2 p.m. he comes huffing up. I'm not even exaggerating. He says something along the lines of "I have a bunch of stuff to do and the other lady is off and this is ridiculous. I'm sorry you aren't at the top of my list of priorities. But I don't need a mean email to tell me to do my job. "

It is important to note that he didn't say these things until he realized I was not at the desk. I was sitting at the celebrations desk, where he could clearly see me. Oh very passive aggressive of you computer nerd. P.S. Your a jerk!

So he gets on in like 1 minute it's fixed and then he unhooks the monitor stuff and moves the printer. Total time spent with us 5 minutes. WOW! Then i hear him go "I didn't realize it would be this easy."
P.S.
Your a jerk!

You say tomato I say NORMAL

so I'm starting my 6 day stretch today. 6 days of fun trips to work EVERYDAY! 6 days of work fun. Can't wait. But that means I might not have time to blog so I'm giving you a double douse of me today. A two4one. So here goes.

I wanted to post on Normal is. It's a prompt from last weeks writing assignment. so here goes.

Normal is
.....thinking of ways to avoid your family during the holidays.
......thinking someone else's parents, family, job, life is way better.
......taking a cold shower in the summer
......watching the same movie 9 times in one month because it makes you laugh.
.....licking the beaters when you bake.
.....laughing till you cry
...crying till you laugh
....wishing on a star
......rolling your eyes
.....bending over backwards for people you care about
.....saying not so nice things about your siblings
......fighting anyone who talks bad about your siblings
.....running through the sprinklers with all your clothes on
....lemonade in the summer and hot chocolate in the winter
.....losing one glove every winter
......sledding when your way to old to sled.
.....calling in sick when you aren't.
.....frowning
.....wearing the same jeans all weekend, they just get more comfy
... dinner with friends
......letting loose on your birthday
....kicking your shoes off in the summer and going barefoot.
...an ice cold beer on a summer night
....regretting somethings you do
....but doing them again anyways.
...water balloon fights
....not wanting to grow up
.....staying in bed all day because you can
.....wearing your pj's all weekend and never leaving the house
.....sitting around the fire with family telling stories and making new memories.
...being embarrassed of your family and their hickish ways
....but letting loose when you are together
..being a different person at work
....not liking all your co-workers
.....knowing more then your boss
...and caring way more about the people you see on a daily bases then they do
....is spaghetti sauce on a white shirt
...running into your crush at the grocery store after you left the gym
...stepping in the puddle
...stepping in the dog poop in the backyard
...rolling down the hill with the kids
....skipping stones int he lake
...not knowing who the Jonas Brothers are
....coloring for fun, at any age
...only picking up pennies at are heads up
..Snow cone trucks
...ice cream after dinner
..ice cream for dinner
....laughing politely
...talking during the movie
....rain when you have plans to be outside
...muddy footprints on your carpet
....lettuce in your teeth
...pimples
....your dysfunctional family
...never wearing a dress

Normal is not perfection. Normal is me. and you. and her. and him over there. Normal is who we are.

Mark this down

WOW. So I'm starting my week off on a grand note here at work. Seems my co-worker isn't to accommodating for the fact that I'm taking time off in April. Now yes i know i was just off for a week. However that was unplanned. This time in April has been planned since the end of January. She knew it. I told her the last of January. The dates, and days (same thing right) well apparently since is didn't involve her she didn't REALLY listen. She has since decided she's going away over the weekend i need her to work for me. And ISN'T working. I'm sorry. What? Seems she's not giving up her plans for me. Seems she doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself. So I've gone ahead and made the executive decision that I'm also taking the Sunday after thanksgiving off. See last year i was nice and worked Black Friday for her so she could leave early to go to her Boyfriends families home in Maryland. this put off my trip to Maryland to see my family and hunt for the weekend by a few hours. Now it's a 4 hour drive to my family's home, so Mr. Ship and I didn't leave York until 3:30 p.m. so we wasted a whole day. Friday was shot till we got there around 7:30p.m. So this year I'm done being nice. I'm not giving up my Friday for here EVER again. What a jerk. See our boss (if that's what you want to call her) tells us to deal with figuring out our vacation time and making sure there is someone to cover the days we are off. I'm sorry but isn't that the BOSS's job? What the hell do they pay her for? Please inform me about this? I'm pretty pissed because now Ruth has to work 6 days in a row and princess gets her time off and i feel like crap because i like Ruth and i don't want her to have to work so many days. Needless to say I'm pissed. REALLY PISSED!

I still can't access the fax machine from my computer to make sure the faxes I've sent have gone through. it's been well over 2 weeks since my computer lost the ability to check the fax status and over 6 months since the other computer lost the same option. So i emailed our IT department. Hopefully they are done setting up all the NEW laptops they bought the advertising department (yeah furlough?) and can take care of this problem. they have slowly been dismantling a computer at our desk for 2 months and i also asked them to get it the fuck off my desk space, only slightly nicer. here's the email i sent them.

I haven't been able to access the fax server on my computers for over 2 weeks now. We need to be able to verify if faxes have gone through to funeral homes and law offices in order to ensure proofs and charges have been submitted. Please find time to fix this problem for us. The computer Wendy uses hasn't been able to check the status for well over 6 months. This appears when we try to check the status THE FAX SERVER COULD NOT FIND AN ACCOUNT MATCHING YOUR NETWORK LOGIN, "YNC/OBITDESK"

We also need Word put onto Wendy's computer in order for her to be able to do the envelopes for legal proof of publications, she was using the computer that we no longer have to do this. And if you could take the monitor that is still sitting here that would be swell.
Thanks
Amy
obit desk

What do you think? Point across?

Oh yeah and the vending machine ripped me off. Sure it said i pushed E6 but i very clearly pushed F6. Why would i push E6 there isn't even anything in that slot. So i got nothing and they got 80 cents. hum? Even the vending machine is getting the hang of this furlough shit. Just like the company take from us and keep for themselves. interesting.

Go postal why don't you

So my mailman left me a note. It says

No NAME no MAIL!



Uhm......sorry mailperson. I didn't mean to not have my name on my mailbox. It was there but it wore off. OOPPS.

The ranger is after me!!!!!!

im off thursday, more funlough junk, so I'm not going to be posting on Mama Kats page but here is my writing assignment!

Here is the women and below are the prompts. If you don't know what to do....I don't know what to say. Go check out the women and get a clue.
The Prompts:
1.) Write a limerick.
2.) Normal is...
3.) Describe a memorable camping experience.
4.) What's the best thing that has happened this week?
5.) Did you have a childhood hideout? Where? Describe it.
6.) Words that hurt me.

My parents belong to Outdoor World, they've changed the name it's something like long piny trails now. I don't know. I totally made that up. the name, not that fact that they changed the name. so they have campgrounds all over the East coast. When we went to Disney we stayed at one. you could bring your own tents or campers or rent a camper. It's that kind of place. I love those places. WE always stayed at Lake and Shore in New Jersey when i was a kid. There is a campground near my home only about 15 minutes away. when we were young we would go there with my grandmother. Well when we (me and big brother) got older we were able to use the membership and put our camper on the site and stay. so we did. Why not? BECAUSE IT WAS A HUGE MISTAKE that's why. I don't know what the hell my parents were thinking and we they ok'd that plan.

So big brother, me and our friend Deacon set up camp down by the creek. Many nights of drunkin (yes underage drunkin fun) fun were spent down by the creek. We were loud, we were young, and we were drunk. Here is where it's important to say that while some kids are well behaved and angels (me) some are not (big brother). One night after a large dinner of steaks and whiskey, Deacon decided to vomit all over the camper door area. that was fun. he proceeded to pass out as did I. big brother being the veteran drinker among our group got bored sitting around by himself and took off on an ADVENTURE.

First stop the pool, where he had to hurdle the fence to get in. After going for a leisurely dip (please note this information is all based on what BB could REMEMBER and what the ranger would later tell the police) he decided to help do some redecorating and tossed a large portion of the lounge chairs into the pool. That must have worked up an appetite in our young friend because he proceeded to break into the snake bar. By break i mean broke out the windows and crawled through to find some yummy ice cream treats. while bleeding ALL over the place. Way to leave DNA evidence behind. nice job. At some point he got spooked. he could never really say what scared him, mainly because he couldn't remember and off he went, running his little ice cream and whiskey filled heart out. right into the fence. After scaling the fence AGAIN he ran back to the camper taking a long confusing route,as to throw off the ranger (or cause he was wasted, who knows). At some point he sprained his ankle REALLY bad. This is what i woke up to.
BB~ "He's after me! He's after me!"
Me~ (from a dead sleep) shut up! I'm sleeping. who's after you?
BB~ The ranger! AHH MY ARM!!
Me~ (sitting up) what are you talking....WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING?
BB~ i don't know.
Me~ where have you been?
BB~ the pool...i think.
Me~how did you cut yourself? (you could see down inside his arm)
BB~ i broke into the snack bar, ahh man i really messed that shit up. I'm going to need stitches.
DEACON~ ahhh what ahhh huh......(back asleep)
BB~ I need you to hold it together?
Me~ (CRYING HYSTERICALLY) what hold what?
BB~ my skin. I'm going to try and tape it up to stop the bleeding, ahh it hurts so bad.
Me~ NO! I'm not doing it. Oh my god we are going to be in so much trouble 9still crying)
BB~ Shut up! hold the skin together.
Me~ 9holding the skin together) I hate you! I hate you! why couldn't you just stay here. Oh my god, what are we going to do.
BB~ the ranger hasn't come yet, he might not have seen me. What am I saying he had to have seen me. I'm so stupid. I think i lost him.
Me~ (taped up his arm and he climbs into bed, I'm still crying) what are we going to do.
BB~ Maybe they wont know it was me.

i left the next morning to come home for tennis practice and Deacon snuck BB out in the trunk of his car. We told my parents he slipped in Deacons puke and sliced his arm on the pole outside the door 9yeah I said we were stupid). we stayed away from the campground for a day or two and hoped it would calm down. It didn't. they put 2 and 2 together and realized it was us. The sprained ankle, cut arm and loud noise gave him away. My parents had to pay some fines and replace everything he broke, and BB was banned from Outdoor World. Banned from a campground. BANNED! LOL. what a dumb ass. and that my friends is my fondest camping memory.

THE RANGER Is AFTER ME!

Some peoples kids....

My boss is the WORST. I know. Everyone thinks there boss is the worst, but mine really IS. She's a horrible person in general. A horrible human being, horrible boss, her kid seems to take after her to a tee so she must have shit the bed in the parenting department. and now we have factioal proof she's a horrible daughter and human being again. Melissa, you might not want to read the next part because if anyone will be floored with this I know it'll be you.

My boss has had a trip to Egypt planned FOREVER! Maybe it seems like forever to me because she's always flashing it under our noses. she's just that nice. Well Her mother who she tossed into a nursing home maybe 6 months ago isn't doing so well. Her health has been going down hill for awhile. My boss stops by my desk the other day to inform me that she will be at one of the local funeral homes handling the pre-planning in case her mom dies while she's on her trip. she told me they handled everything and if she passes while she's away they will be able to take care of everything and she doesn't mind missing the funeral and services.

She left TODAY for Egypt. TODAY. Planned her funeral yesterday, the women is still a live, but apparently close enough to passing that they planned the funeral and she LEFT. I understand it's a non refundable trip. But it's YOUR MOTHER. and I'm positive this time with her is NON-REFUNDABLE! she is the WORST person EVER. EVER! and it was the way she shrugged it off like it was no big deal if she wasn't around for the funeral, like it was just another day. she's the WORST!

Insane much?

Due to my lack of creativity I'm posting an email forward I received today at work. I know. I know. but it's really funny. and I made my comments in the black text. You'll see I'm not very creative today!

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. ~This might get you in trouble....with the fun police.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice! ~ I really want to do this next time a customer comes in for me.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. ~or a shake
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. ~I don't care about this one
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.' ~On my rent check that would be so funny
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. ~They already give me looks
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. ~ I will be doing this the next time we go out to lunch
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. ~ A large shake....to go please.
9. Sing Along At The Opera. ~ pass
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. ~ While listening to really loud music
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' ~ I do that when the change machine gives me $5 in quarters. that and beat up kids at the arcade.
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' ~ that would be a RIOT
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' ~ Then have them fight to the death
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS. ~AWKWARD!

Luck of the decorations

Well it's that time again. What time you ask?? TOOL TIME! Oh, sorry, that wasn't the right answer. I watched a lot of Home Improvement reruns while on my funlough. It's time to decorate our office space for the next holiday. ST. PATRICK'S DAY! So here are a few shots of what we did this afternoon before the massive flow of obits came in.

Here are the filing cabinet we just moved up front. Sharon thought my concern for how they would affect our decorating was "silly" but as you see they provided us with even more area to decorate.

This is our "four leaf clover barb wire" between our desks. It's CRAZY scary!And here you will find the end cap where we worked around Wendy's paper clovers. ahh We are so awesome.

So that's what i did before the obituaries started piling in. Who meets with families with 8 inches of snow on the ground? Funeral directors hoping to drum up more business, that's who. The nerve of some people.

Also i forgot I wanted to mention how great was Brothers & sisters last night??!!! WOW! Even though I'm POSITIVE they said there would be a death?? Whats up with that (network it's on)!? WOW. I hate Holly, she's such a bitch. GO Tommy I'm rooting for you even if no one else is. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I sure hope Robert wises up, I would hat to see Kitty kick him to the curb, what with the new baby and all. Something tells me birth mom might be back in the picture, she was acting very unsure of herself afterwards. And i don't trust this Ryan kid AT ALL. He looks like trouble! Any of you guys watch Brothers & Sisters?

March? Really? You don't say.

It's March? Right? I'm not looking at the wrong calender am I? March? hum. Could have fooled me. Here's why?

This is what I woke up to find today, on this glorious March morning. I know it snows in March, but come on. This is the most snow we saw all winter. And in case you don't know I HATE snow. After you get out of high school snow has no real benefit for you. My job doesn't close down. WE (by we I mean not me) pride ourselves on publishing 365 days a year. Now It might not get delivered but it was printed. So lucky me, into work i go. Oh Joy!

I'm waiting not so patiently for my apron to come in the mail. I'm SOOOO excited. As soon as I get it I'll snap a few pictures of me in it and plaster them up on this blog.

Anywho, that's whats new with me. I couldn't sleep last night at all. Kitty kept me up on the phone until almost 2 o'clock and i couldn't fall a sleep after that. I'm so tired.

I'm BACK!!!!

Wow looks like I should go away more often. My follows have doubled during my furlough (which is now over). So I'm back. You'll be getting daily (most of the time) blogs from em once again. I would like to say I have so much to tell you all, after my sabbatical. But I don't. It was a pretty boring week off. No big events, no planned trips, not even very much interaction with PEOPLE, since most people work during the week. Just a lot of TV, shopping, and eating. I swear. I must have gained a metric ton. I ate a lot of eggs. I don't even like eggs. And they made me sick. But just the one day.

So here's something I've wanted to blog about for a long time. TOP CHEF. I love Top Chef. I've watched it from season 1. I heart Tom. Anywho. I was really pulling for Carla this season she was just so spirited. To bad. But there was something i noticed a while back that I wanted to share but kept forgetting. *Please remember I love Carla* But when she would wear her hair up i couldn't help but think she loved like Red from Fragle Rock.

Ahh Fragle Rock. Now that was quality TV for children. If you need a reminder or a stroll down memory lane swing by cake wrecks she spotlighted a fragle rock cake today. I love RED and CARLA.

I had dinner with Preggers last night. We hit up Applebees near the outlets and chowed down on buffalo wings, and everything deep fried. Yumm-a-roo.

Well I'm back to work now, oh joy. I do have to say that my Furlough/funlough was boring. I don't know if i could stay at home all the time, unless I had kids or was rich. Just me sitting at home is well. Boring. If i as rich at least I could be out shopping and spending money and filling my empty life with awesome shit. right? Or if I had kids I would be busy caring for them and doing all that jazz. But since it's just me, alone in a house. BORING. I need that interaction with other people. Even my crazy customers and annoying funeral directors. Ahh How I've missed them. I'm sure when i get out of here tonight I wont be missing them anymore. LOL. ahh life. Good times.

I would like to say welcome and thanks for stopping by. I hope if nothing else you find some amusement in my blog. It's here to act as therapy for me and entertainment for others. Mirrors my real life :) So Welcome! And to everyone swing by and send some LOVE Amy's way, as she and her daughters are awaiting the return of her husband from Iraq. His flight was canceled and now it's just another waiting game. Send some love! To her, her daughters and her husband for all they have sacrificed for others. :)

While out looking for fun things I stumbled upon this. It seems Summer is hosting a give-a-way for Dee's Deezigns. I found the shop first and the blog second. Both are very cool. I was looking at aprons, which gave way to baby stuff (as you are all aware of my baby stuff OBSESSION now. I am not baby obsessed I'm obsessed with buying baby stuff for my 3 pregnant friends. YES 3. So I started looking for cool diaper bags and this is what I found. How flipping cute is that. Who needs overpriced Vera Bradley when you can find awesome handmade things like this. I love this tote/diaper bag and want it. Then I read that their giving away make bags on a few blogs. Well You know me I'm a lover of give-a-ways so why not try my luck. You guys should also. But if your in the market for some really great bags that are AFFORDABLE I highly suggest taking a look at Dee's DeeZigns

http://www.summertimeandaglassoflemonade.com/