Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sometimes it's all just to much

Some days I just hate my job. Some days I really hate my job. Some days (today for starters) I just can't deal with all the death. Some days it just builds up and i don't understand. Some days I wish I didn't do obits. Didn't dealt with death daily.

I have ( I believe) a rather good relationship with the majority of funeral directors in my county. I almost have to. I deal with them daily. And i have my favorites. The ones that always brighten my day, or I can laugh with on the phone.

One particular funeral home that I absolutely love is John H. Danner Funeral Home. Mr. Danner started the business and his wife, daughter, and grandson have all worked there. Mr. Danner was a hell of a guy. Hell of a guy. he often handled arrangements at no cost to families who just didn't have the money. He made little to no profit and they still are usually out more money then they'll ever make on the funeral. But Mr. Danner believed everyone deserved help. he was a hell of a guy. Working here at the obit desk I was able to form a relationship with Mr. Danner and his daughter Lucy. Lucy is great. She is one of the kindest people I've had the privilege of meeting through this job. She, much like her father, goes above and beyond the call of duty to help families during these hard times. Her father, Mr. Danner, passed away in August of 2007. hundreds of people showed up for the funeral. directors from every funeral home, attended. i remember one day Mr. Danner brought in a photo for an obit. It was a Sunday and I was here alone he talked about how he delivered the paper when he was young boy and how he didn't plan to attend any of the local minor league baseball games here in York, because according to him, "those big boys don't need my money, I'd rather give the money I would spend going to the game to the City little league's. i go to their games all the time. those kids have spirit."

Well today Lucy called me. With more bad news. Her mother, Mrs. Danner, had passed away. she was in ill health long before her husband passed away. no one thought she would be around this long. I expressed my sympathy and then cried as i typed her obit. It's sad.

Then I flipped over the newspaper and saw the bright smile of a 9 year old who was gunned down outside her house on Sunday. On MOTHER'S DAY. And why? why was this 9 year old gunned down. She happen to be playing outside on the sidewalk. The nerve of her. to be in the way when some "gang" members decided to take a fight from earlier that day to streets with guns. Because that's how mature adults handle disagreements. They gun down 9 year old girls. She was the only person reported hurt. Why?

finally on my spiral of downward feelings today i read about a hit and run accident (the women was an aunt of my co-worker). The women who was 83 was hit by a car while crossing the road in front of her house. On her 63rd WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. And they didn't stop. They just drove away and left her die in the street like a squirrel. How could you do that to someone. According to my co-worker they had to let the women's body in the street while the police came and marked the crime scene off. Her family had to stand their and see that. I just don't understand people.

I can understand natural death (to a point, don't get me started on poor Kayleigh, that I'll never understand) but it's when someone takes another life, and just leaves. That I can't understand. I don't understand what you could be so concerned about that you would live a human being laying on the sidewalk or in the road to die. i don't understand how you could live with yourself if you did.

So some days. the death. is. all. to much.


Cathy said...

Honey, we all have these days. This world is beautiful and it's ugly. What makes the difference is what we decide to focus on instead of acknowledging and moving forward. It doesn't mean not learning from the bad but learning how to move on. It's so hard to understand how this world works. Why do good people suffer and the scum just trip thru life unscathed. I believe in God and I believe in Heaven but I think alot of what goes on around us is not centered in either. Too many gray lines in our society. Celebrate good people regardless of the method of demise. You have an important job. Not just anyone can do your job with empathy. Empathy is so underrated in our society and it would make our world a much better place so easily if practiced. Hang in there. Tomorrow is another day.

Sam_I_am said...

I don't know if death is supposed to make sense. As much as grieving hurts, it still an emotion that we have to experience in life. Why people have to take the life of others, that, I don't know. I just hope the saying 'What goes around, comes around is true." *hugs*