Where I've been..............

SO. Here's the deal. I'm working 6 to 7 days a week. this week it was 7 days next week it'll be back to 6 days and i see no real end in sight. this has me VERY unmotivated to do anything outside of work. I'm just tired all the time, and when I'm not I'm bummed about something. I haven't blogged much lately. I was doing so well. I was so proud of myself. For awhile I was writing about my feelings, something i don't like to do. But it seems I've turned back inside, and when i should have been writing and talking about what was going on with me I bottled it all up. That's what I do best. I'm a bottler. LOL. I mean i keep things inside, not that I'm a bottle tooting self induced alcohol coma kind of person.

I don't even know for sure where to start anymore. In July I met someone. He seemed nice, I was attracted to him and we started spending time together. He told me i was pretty, not something i hear much from guys. We had fun. Then towards the end of August I found out it was all a lie. He had a girlfriend, and to make matters WORSE she is WITH CHILD. Needless to say I was pretty upset, his defense.....wasn't much of one.

Flash forward to September and the whole Mr. Ship concert thing with his new girlfriend in tow. I passed on that excitement. I prefer to not let anyone make me feel like a complete fool, so twice in a few weeks by different guys wasn't high on my list of things to do. Needless to say I did run into Mr. Ship and the GF at the fair. I was with my cousin and her family (who introduced us) they stopped to talk to him and her and I pushed my sun glasses over my eyes and walked away. She was pretty. I was surprised. He is not. Pretty that is.

My boss is making my life hell. Besides telling me she has SERIOUS reservations about my abilities, she has just been unfriendly to me. Which I'll be honest i could care less about, it's the driving my co-worker insane part that bothers me. Myself and Ruth met with our boss to talk about our concerns about the new women hired to fill my old spot. She isn't picking up the information. Look my job isn't hard. But this lady isn't retaining ANY of the information we give her. The plan is she'll be able to work on her own after 6 weeks. thus meaning I wont have to work 6 days a week. Monday starts week 4 and she has no CLUE. We talked to our boss who was very DEFENSIVE saying she needs to give her 90 days and we need to prove to her that the women is picking anything up. 90 days is Thur Christmas, I can't work 6 days a week until the new year, and then turn around and work 6 days a week until a new person would be hired and trained. I CAN'T. Ruth wants to quit, then what? I'm screwed even more.

Last weekend we had some family stuff to do. a retirement party with my family in Maryland. I wasn't looking forward to it at ALL. Roughly there's about 20 of us first cousins. of those 20 only TWO are single and child free. I am one of those 2. It's myself and my cousin Justin, who wasn't there. So the family focused all their ENERGY on me. GREAT. I field questions all day, "so Amy you dating anyone", "When are you going to settle down?", "When are you going to have a kid", AHHHHHH. My younger cousin popped a kid out in May, another one is due in Jan, and my brother is having another child. A lot of the second cousins are having children. So my Aunts and cousins think it's my turn. When i say I don't have a boyfriend, that I'm not currently dating, and i don't see kids in my future anytime soon. They all exchange looks. I know they've talked about me amongst themselves, questioned why i never bring any boys around, why they've NEVER seen me with a guy. I'm waiting for someone to ask. Ask if I'm gay. LOL. I'm not. but it really wouldn't surprise me if they thought I was. they thought my cousin was until he got married. LOL. So it's only a matter of time. they all try to give me pep talks, "someone will come into your life soon", "You don't want to settle for a low life", (thanks) "Make sure you find a good guy", "girl you're getting old". WOW. Needless to say I'm just pretty much over everything right now.

I go home at 2:30 p.m. put my pj's on and lay on the couch. I'm hardly eating. I have a Halloween party for the kids to get ready for and I'm completely unmotivated. I have a baby shower to plan for my brothers girlfriend, completely unmotivated. Last night i got home at 2:30 laid on the couch, watched tv and went to bed around 9:30. I didn't go see Preggers and Logan. First Friday in a long time, I was just to tired and unmotivated to go see this.

This little guy lifts my spirits, just look at him. you can't be upset after looking at that little face.

I just don't know what to do. I'm bummed about the guy, I'm bummed about work, I'm bummed about never having anytime off to do anything. The only thing I'm not bummed about is Mr. Ship. Finally.