Thursday, July 19, 2012

confessions from the dead desk

So Mama Kat's one prompt hit me HARD.

4.) You’ve been offered a book deal! Now what are you going to write about?

Easy smeasy. I'm writing about my job. It's never a dull day at the Obituary Desk.

There's just something about death that makes people get all.......CRAZY. It's been my privilege over the last 5 years to deal with all levels of crazy here at the dead desk.

Before everyone gets all "oh have some compassion for these poor people in their hour of need".......come work here. We'll see how compassionate you are after a full moon week.

There was an obit once that said
  1. He was a member of AA (...........kind of defeats the whole anonymous part.)
  2. She really enjoyed her cell phone.
  3. She was a mean hearted person to her children and in-laws.
  4. She made the Worldest best apple pie. (PROVE IT GRANDMA!!!)
I could talk about the women who called ranting about an obit for a gentleman who she was and I quote "Happy he finally kicked the can cause he was a real son of a bitch"

I could talk about the family feuds. I can't count on one hand the number of times that  we have run multiple obits for the same person placed by separate family members because they can't all agree who should be listed as children and who should be listed as step children. And EVERYONE thinks we care to hear their side of the story...WE DON'T.

If I had a dollar everytime someone called in to give me payments and asked if I needed ALL the number on the credit card........nahh just give me 4 and I'll just pick some and see what happens!

I could talk about the number of times I've run obits that lists and ex spouse, current spouse, and a companion......really People. Really?

People tell us all kinds of things. Last week a gentleman told me his dog shit all over his wife in bed...and then the dog died.

What in the world. Sometimes I really think I'm living a real life version of the Truman Show becasue this life can't be real.


Robbie K said...

sounds like a very interesting job. I am actually one of those ppl who reads all the obits even though we just moved and I know 2 ppl outside of my family who live here.

Jennifer said...

Goodness... Awful as that is, it would probably sell... Thanks for hopping over to my blog! Great post!

Sam_I_am said...

did the guy want you to write an obit for the dog? lol