Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I'm fine never..........

I haven't done a writing assignment in so LONG! But here goes.

I choose the top ten list of things you NEVER want to do before you die.

10. Eat a spider....knowingly. I hate spiders. Yuck. Little ones I can handle, pretty much anything larger than a penny is a no go for me. The worst thing I can imagine is a spider crawling in my mouth and around on my tongue. YUCKY!

9. on the same lines as eating a spider i never want to be bitten by a crocodile. I'm not sure what crazy shenanigans would have to occur for me to EVERY be in the position to be bitten by a crocodile....but I plan to steer clear of anything that leads to that outcome.

8. Being trapped in a mine shaft or falling down a well are far from my idea of a good time. I don't have a super smart dog to bark warnings to my family and friends if I do fall down the I'm pretty much SCREWED if that happens.

7. I'm not a huge fan of kittens. I'm a dog person, even if my dogs would be completely content to sit outside the well and lick themselves while I'm drowning in spider and crocodile water...I'm still a dog person. But even after that being said....i wouldn't want to run over a cat.

6. I enjoy a good old zombie movie as much as the next person. The thrill of the chase, wondering if there's yet another brain eating decomposing neighbor waiting for you around the corner....I love it. However I wouldn't want to be a zombie. See I'm sort of fond of my face, my body and not rotting from the inside out. Trust me i have some bad morning breath, but rot breath. No thanks. Plus there's that whole eating people. It's only a matter of time until you hurt some poor persons feelings because you choose someone else for dinner over them.

5. I never want to run for president. Christ, the skeletons in this closet. I'd embarrass Clinton, and JFK.

4. I hate my job. I know, I know, i should be HAPPY to have a job. I am. But that doesn't mean i have to like it. But even as much as I HATE my job i would never want to be one of those sign holding signing people on the corner advertising some pizza joint or tax service. I don't have the time for that crap. twirl your own sign. Jump up and down in a costume yourself. I'd be on the news in 5 minutes for tossing my cardboard pizza at some passing car.

3. I would never want to teach Bio-Chemistry. I SUCK at science. I sucked in high school. It cost me half of my senior year tennis season. Science is lame.

2.I don't like enclosed small spaces. The thought of being buried alive gives me the hebee geebees. Scratching at the lid of the boxes while someone tosses dirty onto seems....counter productive .

And the number 1 thing I definitely don't want to do before I die is have my own survival reality tv show. Who wants to be dropped off in the middle of the Arctic in your PJ's and socks and see if "you can make it". Who thought that up. I mean really 1 maybe 2% of the population will ever find themselves in that situation anyway. Why. WHY would you want to subject yourself to walking across a desert in your bare feet with no clothes on being burnt to a crisp to show people what to do and not to do if they find themselves in that situation. PASS.


Jamie said...

I'm with you on the political office. Seems a lot are. And having been bit by a spider and having got deathly ill...spiders are bad.

Sam_I_am said...

if you had to choose between being buried alive and being a zombie, which would you choose? lol Tough isn't it!

On a side note, how do you feel about the whole hines ward release?