Holy baby

I don't know what I expected. Clearly I don't know ANYTHING. We just hit the two week mark. Two weeks since my little buddy came into our lives. 9 months of carrying him around inside did not prepare me for this. I have no idea what I thought motherhood would be like or what actually having my own baby would be like...but this is exhausting. I guess I thought it would be cuddling and cues. Smiles and giggles and all things WONDERFUL. But this is EXHAUSTING!

It's GREAT. ITS AMAZING. everything he does is impressive. To me at least. Well, not when he pees on me. That's not very impressive. Mildly funny but not impressive. 

I knew it would be hard. I knew it would be tiring. I knew it would be stressful at times. But I didn't really KNOW. 

I wouldn't trade it for anything. The poopy diapers. Wake up calls every two hours. Getting peed on in the middle of the night. Bottles. Laundry. It's all worth it. The self doubt. Second guessing myself. Trying to figure out if it's a 'I'm wet' cry or an 'I'm never going to eat again' cry. 

Sometimes I think I'm making a mess of things. Did I feed him enough? Is the diaper to tight? Is he hot? Cold? Am I the worst mom ever? But he cuddles up to me when I rock him to sleep and I figure.....well so far so good. 

I'm insanely lucky to have the amazing husband I do. He's been my rock through this all. Quick to change a diaper or make a bottle. We try to take turns getting up during the night but he often lets me sleep and gets up a few times in a row. Does the cooking and grocery shopping. I really couldn't imagine doing any of this without him.