Wednesday, November 20, 2013


Today my cousin goes to court to work out some sort of custody agreement with her husband. They have been living apart for well over a year now, but have yet to file any type of divorce or separation papers. This isn't my problem. And it shouldn't be...she's 3 months away from turning 40.  But until yesterday afternoon she had no lawyer. He does. She had no idea what to do. He did. And she had for the most part. Given up. He hasn't.

My cousins is more like a sister. Even through she's 10years older then me we have been very close. And I love her. But she makes bad choices. Very bad choices. She got pregnant at 15 had her second child by 18 and two more (twin girls) at the age of 28. She has a lot of anger inside of her. Angry she missed out on being a kid. Angry she had to grow up with her kids. Angry that she got married so young. Just angry. BUT. She made those choices. It's been a rocky marriage. No one is surprised that its coming to an end. Actually more surprised at how long it lasted. 

She left her husband awhile ago. And things.....started to unravel. Her husband, who I have called my cousins since I was 7 started to turn into someone I didn't know. He started doing things I never would have thought he was capable of. He's set out to hurt her. And I can understand that to a point. He's hurt. He's mad. He still loves her. He says he doesn't, but I know better. 

But right now there are two very impressionable 12 year old girls who need their mom. And their Dad. If only they could figure that out. 

My mom and I have spent the last year and a half trying to explain to her why she shouldn't bad mouth their dad around them. To be honest, she doesn't get it. She thinks if his family talks bad about her then its ok for her to talk bad about them. NO. putting each other down on Facebook. Putting family down on Facebook period sends me into a rage like no other.  I have no tolerance for that. Is like align with two high school students. And it frankly... Pisses me off. 

I just want them to grow up. Open their eyes. And stop hurting their children. Because they say 'they want what's best for the girls' but what they really want is to WIN. To be the one who was right. I've watched the husband influence the oldest son in to not talking to his mother, because he doesn't know what his father does. Sending inappropriate text messages to her. Harassing her when she doesn't have the girls, texting her all day long when she does. Making the girls call her every night to find out where she is and who she's with. Not letting her talk to the girls when she calls and then telling everyone she's to busy to talk to her kids. And I know this because she's currently living with my mom. My mom has dealt with it first hand. And he denies all of it. He refuses to leave the house they rent from her parents. And the lawyers say she should move back in and live separately from him. She tried that. He made it hell. He's angry. I understand that. But shutting off the water when he left for work and the girls were in school, Or standing outside her bedroom yelling about what a piece of crap she was, while the girls were in the other room, isn't the right thing. 

I don't know what's going to happen today. I just hope something happens that will cause them to get moving in the right direction.

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