Warm and fuzzies...warm and fuzzies (come on!)

So I had a spat with a funeral director today. I know. I know. I said I would TRY not to do that today. I failed. I failed miserably. Dang it. But I did make it to 4 p.m. before I blew up and had my spat. Long story short. She said somethings. I said somethings. and she HUNG UP on me! HUNG UP ON ME! I wont lie. I was tempted to do the same to her the whole time. But I didn't. Oh well. For those of you who are wondering. I owned up to it to my boss. told her truth. Told her exactly what I said, which I should not have said to being with. But I knew it was wrong and I was WILLING to admit it. SO there jerky funeral director! Anywho.

To feel better I'm going to do the picture post Diane did. Unlike Diane I'm not a rebel (or an overachiever ;P) so I'm only posting 6 unimportant things that give em the warm and fuzzies. So here in no certain order are my 6 things.How could those cute faces NOT give you the warm and fuzzies!

I love the rain. I could sit outside and listen to the rain all day. I CAN'T pass up a chance to jump in a puddle when i see it!

Tulips are my FAVORITE flowers. (Diane, I fear we might be one in the same, and I think you are getting the short end of the stick in that deal :)

I love big green fields of nothing. I just want to kick off my shoes and ran around and lay in the grass (of course in this dream there are no TICKS, argh!)

Sun, fun, BEACH=Warm and Fuzzies !!!


And of course if all else fails there is always BEER!

Have a great weekend everyone! I'll be back Monday, hopefully with lots of photo posts from my dads 60th birthday and the baby shower! Finally the baby shower is HERE!!!!!!!!!!

Deep cleansing breathes

The Prompts:
1.) Who really helped you get over something? Write about that person.(writingfix.com)
2.) Is plastic surgery an option? Without being vulgar, write about the body part still attached to you that you would most like to dis-attach and replace with a better one. (writingfix.com)
3.) Share an interesting email exchange you've had with someone lately.
4.) Have you thought about shutting down your blog? Why haven't you and what would cause you to make that decision final?
5.) Today I will...


Today I will TRY not to laugh at any customers. I will Try not to mutter angry words towards funeral directors. I will smile more (ha). I'm going to take some deep breathes and wait it out. I'm not going to fly off the handle today, although it's 12:30 p.m. and I've already come close TWICE. I'm going to look to the future and focus on my big weekend. Today I'm going to run errands, melt chocolate wafers into booties and bottles. Today I'll complete the shower favors, buy everything on the last minute list and pull out my hair. Today I will drive my aunt to the car detailer and smile while I want to wring her neck. Today I will skip the gym so I can go to AC Moore to get the chocolate stuff and forget my rewards card AGAIN!

Today I will contemplate calling in sick but go to work and pout in the end. Today I will throw away that pineapple I just had to have that I NEVER cut apart. My trash smells nice! Today I will watch Greys Anatomy and go to bed early.

Today I will scream for hours inside my head. Today I will think mean thoughts about objects like this pencil. Today I will pop the blisters on my hands (from raking the yard) and complain about how much it hurts. Today I will lay in bed and think about all the things I would rather do then get up and go to work. Today i will gossip, bicker, yawn, huff and puff, stuff my face with cake, and surf the Internet. Today I will finish my work week pump my fist in the air and yell, ABOUT FUCKING TIME!

So what did you wetie about today? Stop at Mama Kat's and see what everyone has to say

Two peas in a pod

This post is devoted to my one and only BIG BROTHER. I've mentioned him before (not always in a glowing light, but he doesn't do much to brag about). Big Brother is 28. And he's well. My Big Brother. (un)Fortunately for me he's the only Big Brother I'll have, more so the only brother....well the only sibling (aside from through marriage) I'll ever have. It's just me and YOU kid!

Well Big Brother and I have a relationship of mutual tolerance and annoyance. I would like to say I'm the tolerant one and he's the annoying one. But I think it's more fair to say it's an even split. We have our days when we get along GREAT. We also have our days when I can't get two words out with out being beaten down (metaphorically and physically). Yes Dear friends we still fight and punch each other. You'll be happy to know it's not has violent as it once was. Usually I'll sneak a quick punch in the gut as I ran past him. Or he'll slug me int he arm when i wont shut up. It hurts. It always hurt.

According to my mother and grandmother. We didn't ALWAYS fight. We used to be best pals. good friends. This I DOUBT. I have some serious issues with these "stories". I often wonder if it wasn't their way of getting us to get along. According to family legend if i was being punished for being bad and had to sit int he corner Big Brother would come and sit next to me with his arm around me and tell me everything was going to be ok. I've asked them if they took notice to the fact that maybe he wasn't comforting me, me he was chocking me or threatening to rip barbies head off if I told on him. However, this incident i remember like it was yesterday. My mom had her arms around me and was restraining me. We were sitting on the steps into our old kitchen and she was forcing something into my mouth. I believe it was soap or pepper. I'm not sure. Apparently I had used one of the less desirable words and this was my punishment. Well Big Brother came in all Rambo on her ass and hit her in the head with the butt of his toy rifle. Suddenly my potty mouth wasn't so important anymore.

Big Brother has taken the heat a few times for me. Once when my parents discovered we had a party while they were away, Big brother took the fall for the whole thing. Once when i crashed the four wheeler into the fence and was left with huge bruises all over my arms and chest, Big brother let her think he had hit me so she wouldn't take the four wheeler away from us. .........Yeah I think that's it.

don't be fooled by the smile and the cool swim shorts. He TORTURED me every chance he got. From daily fist fights, to farting in my face (which he still does, did i mention he's 28). He was pure Big Brother MEAN. after all we are only 18 months apart.

• Once he took my training wheels off after my parents told him not to. According to him "I was a big girl and didn't need them anymore" Then he told me to go up to the top of the very UNEVEN, ROCKY hill and take my maiden voyage. OK. Here I go. And the Big jerk leaves and goes into the house and no one sees me sail right into the rock and gush blood from my face. thanks for the scar, what a perfect keepsake.
• Or the time my mom found him trying to cut my toes off with my dads sword.
• His favorite past time was running his remote control cars, drills, or anything that turned against my head so it would get tangled up in my hair.
• Once he spray painted my head black and dumped a feather pillow on my head. I can only assume he was learning about tar and feathering people at school.
• numerous times he held me down and farted in my face, pushed me in the creek, threw sand in my face, or rode his bike way to fast while I was on skates being pulled behind him.

Fun guy huh? but for better or worst (mostly worst) he's my big Brother. Today we sat across from each other in his living room while I explained I'd bought 5 poster boards to color and write on to make OUR Dad birthday signs for his 60th birthday this weekend. My brother looked blankly at me. Here is the conversation

• Me~ I thought I would leave 3 here for you and you can do birthday signs for dad that we can put in his yard. I got different colors and markers and stuff.
• BB~Why?
• Me~ Because I thought it would be nice. I think he would like it. Damn he's 60! That's pretty old.
• BB~Huh
• Me~So I'll need you to come up with some way to stick them in the ground or maybe you could put wholes in them and we can tie them around the poles on the porch.
• BB~Great (unenthusiastically). I have some thinner lumber we can use for stakes.
• Me~Ok.
• BB~ Wow 3 of them. you want me to do 3 different ones. These things are pretty big.
• Me~ (shaking my head) Well I thought Maybe YOU could do 1 and You can help Kanyon do 1 on Friday when he gets here. And maybe Jan would like to do 1. So that would be 3.
• BB~ Oh. Yeah ok.
• Me~ dude your unemployed right now, what else do you have to do?
• BB~ watch tv.

My Big Brother Ladies and Gentlemen!

The Return of Not Me MONDAY

The following list is made up of things I SURELY didn't do or didn't have done to me over the weekend.

1. I did not spend all morning back cookies, Friday, for a bake sale my mom signed me up for. PRIOR to asking if i wanted to bake cookies for it.


2. 3 dozen cookies did not burn, darken around the edges, or flatten out, FOR NO REASON!


3. I did watch roughly 4 hours or Overhaulin and cry. A LOT.


4. I surely had more important/wilder things to do on y Friday night then go to the laundry mat and watch my clothes dry.


5. I didn't stop at Rita's for some yummy coconut ice only to find it missing from the menu, the high schoolers working their had the best work ethic and surely didn't make us (non high schoolers) wait for an extended amount of time while they chatted with their friends. After which they surely would not have MESSED up my order (all two things i wanted simple ices) and make me wish I hadn't stopped at all.


6. I didn't return one bathing suit for another which i will promptly be returning tomorrow before work.


7. WE didn't drive all the way to Philly on Saturday with no AC in 89 degree weather out of fear the car just might not make it if we turned it on. I was NOT seated on the sunny side of he car and wasn't dripping sweat till we go there.


8. I didn't have my first OFFICIAL Philly Cheese steak and it wasn't the GREATEST thing ever (next to wings in Buffalo).


9. I didn't revert back to my quite shy self while spending time with Pams family.


10. I wasn't REALLY SAD when i opened my t-shirts from Tshirthell.com to find an XL isn't really very Large at all. I didn't spend way to much time measuring shirts and trying to decided what to do with the shit that didn't fit.


11. I haven't decided to just return them and try again later.


12. I'm not sad about this at all :)


13. It wasn't absolutely beautiful here today and i didn't spend the whole day inside at the computer writing about the dead :(


14. I didn't chow down on 3 big pieces of cheese pizza last night because I love a melted cheese mess!


15. I don't have only 6 days till preggers showers and we haven't heard back from only 2 people, that would be ridicules.


16. I didn't go buy the stuff to make wing dip today and I'm not at all contemplating making it tonight so i can make sure it's not "poisoned" or anything.


17. I'm not going to start another eat better kick, which would DEFINITELY not be why I also bought Roman lettuce today at the store.


18. I didn't scarf down a chicken sub for lunch with lettuce on my journey to better eating today.


19. The above mentioned sub surely wouldn't have had cheese and (lite) mayo on it, because nothing about that screams healthy.


20. By the end the majority of the lettuce was not on my plate as opposed to in my tummy.

So how about YOU! What didn't you do over the weekend you would like to not mention.

DO OVER!

That's the feel for my life. One big DO OVER. But unlike kickball I'm not going to get a fourth roll, so I'm going to try my best to do better.

How was my trip to Philly yesterday, you maybe asking. It was GREAT. Preggers and I had great weather to make the drive and everything went great with the car (as in it made it to Philly, past this trip I would suggest putting it out to pasture). We stopped at her moms house to potty and refresh before making our way to the car dealer. When i said we had great weather I meant it was REALLY warm in the sable without the air on. so maybe what I meant to say I was SWEATING like a........SWEATY person.

I've never been with someone when they bought a car NEW or USED that the paperwork said PAID IN FULL. WOW. I guess that's what you do with left over college money when you don't plan on going back. Preggers used some of her college money to purchase the car, now before anyone gets all Bent out of Shape. She's paying it all back in full to her college fund for her son. This way she repays the money but not to a bank or to a loan shark, who will break her knee caps and repo the car. She's paying in back to herself...well back to Baby McGuier, (c/o of her parents) so it'll be repaid in full. That's the kind of girl Preggers is. I thought it was a great decision see how she NEEDED a reliable car and will be off work for 3 months after having the baby. Paying herself back is much less stressful then paying Bob's First National Bank of Sharks, back.

then we had some yummy dinner with her family. What did we have? Thanks for asking....drum roll please.(bbbabamabambambam) CHEESE STEAKS! Hello McFly we were in PHILLY! When in Philly do as the natives (lol). It was so yummy. I got mine American without. They have a very matter of fact way to order. Step up to the window marked ORDER STEAKS and say in my case American without. Or Whiz without. depending on the cheese you want. If you want onions and peppers you say (cheese type) with. I don't know what you do if you just don't want onions or peppers. It was scary i did not ask. But it was SUPER tasty.

But mine had American Cheese on it and pickles. YUM-A-ROO!

Some of you may remember my "eating better plan" uhm...... yeah this is where the DO OVER comes into play. I HAD to have the STEAK. Come on people. When will i be in Philly again. I went for it. Could you please roll the ball again with a little less bounce in it this time pal. PLEASE!

I tried to make up for it today by eating this.

If you only understood how much I HATE Iceberg lettuce. But I got it on my sandwich and it wasn't to bad. Plus mine was on wheat bread, with lite mayo. Small steps people small steps. I bought some Romano lettuce for salads this week. Is it wrong to say that I REALLY want to lose weight to not only feel better but to look HOTT to make Mr. Ship SORRY. It's only natural right? I would say it's a 60/40 split right now. But I have a ways to go.