Buffalo or BUST!

I'm going to Buffalo at the end of the month. For a few reasons. But mainly because I CAN. I want to go. I haven't been there in 3 months. I know that's not that long. But I want to go. I'm flying up. I'm trying to make this as easy for me as I can. You might remember (depending on how long you've been reading my dribble) that on my way home from Buffalo in October I was rear ended by a FREIGHT LINER. So I'll fly this time. I'm taking a direct flight from BWI to Buffalo about an hour flight. Much better then a 6 hour drive. I'm stoked! I can't wait to see my Buffalo family (who aren't family at all) and relax. Hopefully this will be a good trip. Soccremom and Mr. Soccermom have big plans for me. THEIR plans and the plans of the rest of my Buffalo family (Mr. Soccermom's parents, sister, and GRANDPARENTS, what can i say they are very invested in my life) think I should MOVE there. Get a job, met a nice guy (who they plan to introduce me to that weekend) and get married and live happily ever after in Buffalo. That is THEIR plan. My mom feels the need to remind me before i leave for Buffalo EVERY TIME that I LIVE in YORK and that is not near BUFFALO. and that I NEED to come HOME to YORK not BUFFALO.


So I'm heading north in January. To a place that got 20 inches of snow the other week. I hate snow. I hate cold. Major deters for moving there. Soccermom reminds me that it only snows in the winter there. Fantastic. She leaves out that winter lasts 4-5 months. This is strictly a visit. I'm interested to meet the mystery man (in their defense they have wanted me to meet him since their wedding and I've only been up once since then and he was away) and see what all the fuse is about. Mr. Soccermom's mom Moma Smith, thinks mystery man and i would make "such a cute couple". She just wants me to move to Buffalo so she has more kids to worry about :) Love you Moma Smith! apparently Soccermom knew it was destiny when she saw the insane amount of Ketchup he uses. She called me and said and i quote "He puts the ketchup right on his fires. All over them like you do. He uses so much kethcup I thought he was you! I'm totally buying you guys a huge vat of ketchup for a wedding gift." GREAT. We shall see. He might not even be around this time. He better I can't fly up every few months. I'm not made of money.


I'm not saying I wouldn't move there. I've thought about it. It's not to far away from Home. only 2 more hours then college. flights aren't to bad. I'm not saying I would NEVER do it. I have thought about it. It could be fun. a new place. new people. But at the same time i know people. I have a family foundation. An open invite to Sunday brunch at Moma Smith's house and all other family functions. that's nice. Comforting. but moving there? I don't know. We shall see. Maybe mystery man and i will hit it off. fall madly in love and then we shall see. More then likely The same old same old will happen and that'll be it. That's my luck.

I'll have the honesty....a la mode please

Sam over at http://samiamland.blogspot.com/ bestowed this wonderful honesty award on me. So I'm supposed to be honest. List 10 HONEST things. Me. Amy. McMean. Must be honest. About myself. I feel years of pent up should have gone ot therapey issues bubbling to the surface here. Honest. About me. Oh boy. Here goes.

1. I always worry about being late. I show up 3o minutes early to functions and sit in my car and wait for it to be time. I don't want to be that person. The late person. the person everyone talks about while they are waiting for them to get there. No thank you.



2. I'm PAINFULLY shy. That's why I love blogging. I can SEEM open and friendly but I'm not. I'm painfully shy. I swear to whatever religoiuse icon you believe in. PAINFULLY SHY.



3. I go out to dinner and the moives alone all the time. I'll go to sit down places and stay as long as I want and don't worry about someone in the restuarant is going "Oh look at that girl all alone". I don't care. I need to eat to. For some reason this doesn't bother me. But PLEASE don't ask me to talk to anyone else sitting at the bar.



4. I'm jelouse of my friends. I'm jelouse of their lives, relationships, the money they have, the things they do, that their skinnier, less shy, smarter, and just all around better then me. I want to know when it's going ot be my turn.



5. I know that it's not so much love that draws me to Mr. Ship as it is desperation. I can't help but wonder what if no one ever cares about me again. What if this is the best I'll ever have and I miss it.



6. I want to be more like my best friend. I want to be strong enough to pack up and move across the country just because thats what I want. I want to be strong enough to try.



7. I think about sex all the time. Unfortunetly it usually involves Mr. Ship. I watch way to much porn for a normal person, but I don't really care.



8. I think that if i smile more, pay closer attention, dress sexier, laugh at his jokes, and sleep with him that one day he'll finally realize that I'm good enough for him. I use that logic to convince myself that theres hope with Mr. Ship.



9. I worry that what makes me happy might make other people mad and maybe it's easier to please the masses then please myself.



10. I'm too afraid I'll SUCCEED to actually try. What if it works, what if i get a new job and move, and make more money. And I can't handle it. I'll just stay at whats comfortable so I don't have to worry about it.

Now I'm to name a seven people who i think should do this also. I pick

• Darcie


• Kitty


• Rachel


• La Pixie


• Melissa
• and you! Be honest. I'll be readin these and I ahve my awesome new honesty decoder watch on.

More not me monday

I'm not seriously contemplating the conversation I had with Soccermom yesterday. I haven't googled anything pertaining to employment in Buffalo and didn't spend anything checking air fare to go visit her. I don't think a change could do me some good and I'm not confident these thoughts are completely CRAZY.

Not me Monday

I didn't use my Macy's exchange card to buy a bunch of baby stuff for my friends. I surely didn't go back and forth between a ton of different things before i settled on the cutest blanket and some onies, and bibs. I didn't buy two of the blankets since I have two soon to be parent friends. The blankets didn't have the cutest little giraffe in the corner. I didn't absolutely want them in big kid size for me.


I didn't pray i would run into someone i knew when i got to Laura's baby shower yesterday. I wasn't so over joyed when i pulled into the parking lot and saw KT Bupp getting out of her car. We didn't sit together with Melissa and do some good old fashion gossiping. Our table didn't produce two winners at baby bingo. I didn't leave with some notepads as a prize.


I didn't purchase one of the above mentioned blankets for Preggers along with 3 cute onies for the baby. I couldn't hear Preggers voice in my head telling me to NOT BUT BABY STUFF YET, while i was paying. I wasn't so excited.


The shower didn't give me the sudden urge to have a baby simple so people will buy me things. I didn't think how cool it would be to be getting all this fun stuff. I surely didn't almost smack myself back into reality when KT Bupp said, "yeah but then you have a kid". Oh yeah. I'm not plotting a away to register for stuff and have people throw me a shower without actually having to have a kid or get married.


I didn't spend a lot of time with my extended family this weekend eating food that was yucky. I surely didn't stuff myself on meat, cheese, candy, chips and dip. I absolutely ate veggies and salad and not buffalo chicken sandwiche and fries when i went to dinner with my mom.


So that was my weekend. or my not me weekend. Everything i didn't do~ I DID. Everything i did do~ I didn't! Tricky right.


I'm thinking about my next post. Sam tagged me for a honesty post. So
I'm thinking.

Tmobile it's me Amy...where are you?

So I'm PISSED with uppercase EVERYTHING!

Let's recap my day shall we.

1. Get up for watch the Rose Bowl parade before coming to work- no problems so far.
2. ON my way to work notice my phone doesn't have a signal- weird.
3. Get to work see the phone still isn't registering any bars-this can't be good.
4. Turn off phone take out battery.
5. Put everything back together.
6. Still doesn't work-WTF!!!!!
7. I yell a lot say a few words that would make my grandmother blush and try calling someone.
8. No luck.
9. I use my work phone to call my brother (we have the same provider). All I get is a busy signal.
10. try another Tmobile person. Same thing.
11. Start to panic.
12. I can't use my phone. Not like anyone calls me, but this sucks.
13. figure I'll drown my sorrows in Root Beer.
14. Root Beer gets jammed in the machine.
15. I push on the little bar a few times but the bottle is wedged in. Stupid vending machine with it's sleek design my ass.
16. Kick the flap a few times. bottle moves a little.
17. Look around in case I'm on hidden camera show.
18. Don't see any suspicious looking fruit or out of place old ladies knitting.
19. Commence with giving that machine the machine kicking of it's life.
20. Finally free bottle/ break flappy thing a little.
21. Root Beer looks like it was just thrown into the washing machine on the spin cycle.
22. Wait too open it until it's calmed down.
23. Very busy for a holiday here.
24. Fun. Fun.
25. Take a moment to call Tmobile and find out whats up.
26. OUR CUSTOMER SERVICE PEOPLE ARE OFF FOR THE HOLIDAY.
27. Realize the guy who is supposed to make sure the button for service stays flipped on is recovering form last night. FANTASTIC.
28. Nothing on site about problem. Oh yeah NO ONE is there.
29. I feel so alone.

So I still can't use my phone. Which is really a pain since I don't have a 'land line" once I leave here. Or for you fun loving people a home phone. Thank God I wasn't depending on having an operational phone in case of emergencies or to order a pizza for dinner. Damn it! I really wanted pizza ordered from the comfort of my own home.